Reunited and It Feels so Good
by uwmuggle
Summary: Buffy and Giles reunite after years apart at Dawn's wedding. Maybe it's time for the hidden truth between them to come to light. Buffy/Giles Dawn/Andrew, Xander/OC, Willow/Kennedy, Robin/Faith mentioned Italics are memories and/or thoughts
1. Chapter 1

_Buffy checked her hair in the mirror one last time before leaving the bathroom. As the titular head of the family it was important that she looked her best. She wanted to look her best and even though she wasn't expecting anyone special she wanted to look beautiful. Satisfied that she looked her best she dried her hands and left the room._

_Dawn was in the kitchen, her hair and makeup done already, drinking some tea. "Buffy, you look beautiful!"_

_"I should be saying that to you Dawnie." Her younger sister was beautiful and for a moment Buffy felt a twinge of jealousy; not for her sister's beauty but for all the opportunities she had that Buffy was certain she would never be able to have herself. "You look so pretty! Shouldn't you be in your dress though?"_

_"Yes, I just needed a moment to relax. Besides it's so big I'll need your help."_

_"Where's Willow and Kennedy?"_

_"Willow called and said she'd meet us there, they had to take care of something."_

_"Well, let's get you dressed. We don't want to be late, Andrew might think you've decided to leave him behind for someone better."_

_"There's no one better than Andrew!"_

_"Sorry, someone __else_. Either way let's go." Buffy followed her sister up the stairs. "I can't believe you're marrying Andrew. When I first met him he was just a nerd who thought he was a supervillain."

"But he's different now."

"I know, he's really matured in the ten years I've known him."

"So you don't mind him?"

"No Dawnie I don't mind him at all. I think you're good for each other." Buffy lifted the dress over her sister's head, making sure her arms went through the right straps. "I'm a little jealous." She hadn't meant to say that out loud.

"Oh Buffy, you'll find someone I'm sure! Maybe even tonight, you know how romantic weddings are," Dawn snickered behind her hand. She saw the look of fear cross her sister's face, "just kidding Buffy."

They heard the door below slam shut and Xander called up to them. "Hey, are you ready? We're going to be late." He thumped up the stairs and knocked on the door before opening it, "Didn't you hear... Wow! You two look great, even through one eye!" Buffy felt a pang of guilt as she looked at one of her best friends, it was because of her that he had lost his eye. "Check out this cool eye patch I got for the wedding!" He dug in his pocket and pulled out a white eyepatch with a rhinestone pentagram on the front. "What do you think?"

Buffy tried not to laugh as Dawn looked at him horrified. "Xander if you wear that I swear to all that hellish I'll murder you!" She glared at each of them as Buffy and Xander laughed hysterically, leaning on each other for support. Finally Dawn's lip twitched and soon she started laughing with them. Xander replaced the gaudy patch with his regular black one.

"Come on, he's right, let me finish lacing you up." Buffy worked deftly at the laces on the back of Dawn dress while Xander waited impatiently in the doorway impatiently tapping his toe. "There finished." Buffy stood back to survey her work. 

"Okay, okay, let's go." Xander shuttled them out of the door, down the stairs and into his waiting car. Buffy sat quietly in the car while Dawn chatted away, growing increasingly quiet as the old theater where the ceremony was to take place drew near.

She found it hard to believe that she was getting married. She had jsut graduated from college and started a new job and now this. It seemed like yesterday that her and Andrew, along with Buffy and the remaining potentials had driven away from the sinkhole that was Sunnydale. They had traveled around for nearly a year before finally settling down so that she could get her GED and go to college. 

Many of the potentials had drifted away to find their own niche of the world to eradicate evil from. Willow and Kennedy had traveled around learning from other witches. Xander opened his own landscape and construction business and was finally seeing a girl who was neither a demon, a vampire, or some other form of undead, but plain human. Giles had returned to London, and rarely visited. 

Dawn looked at her sister and worried. Buffy had tried training some of the potentials but with Faith around she was often superfluous. Once Dawn started school Buffy had gone back to college at Northwestern, where she'd been accepted as a senior in high school. She finished her degree and now had great job working with at risk youth in high schools. Now she was mostly alone, only coming west to visit once or twice a year. She hadn't dated anyone since Sunnydale, at least not that Dawn knew of, and her sister was worried about how empty she seemed.

"Here we are," Xander pulled up outside the building. It was decorated with flowers and streamers and Dawn and Andrews names were on the marquee. Dawn climbed out, Buffy behind her making sure her dress didn't drag on the ground, and all three of them went into the lobby. Willow and Kennedy were waiting for them.

"I was beginning to think you had changed your mind. Dawnie you look so beautiful!"

"I'm gonna go get a seat," Kennedy hugged Dawn, "you look wonderful, Andrew is so lucky." She kissed Willow, "you look good too."

"No offense Dawn but did you have to pick pink? I'm not exactly a pink sort of person."

"Your dress is wonderful Willow." Buffy had to admire Willow's dress and Dawn's taste. Sure it was pink, but it was also flattering and once Willow changed its color there was no doubt in her mind that Willow would wear it again.

"It's not a bad dress, it's just...well it's just so pink!" They laughed. Dawn went to check her hair and makeup one last time. "You don't mind Buffy do you?"

"Mind what Willow?"

"That Dawn asked me to be her maid of honor instead of you?"

"Not instead of Willow, I told her to ask you. I knew I wouldn't be a very good one half way across the country. Besides, I'm more of a mother of the bride sort of person. Not to mention that pink isn't really my color either." She grinned.

"Looks like it's time, are you ready?" Xander held out his arm to Buffy. 

She smoothed out her dress and checked to make sure she had tissues. She gave her sister one final kiss on the cheek before taking Xander's arm and walking down the aisle. She saw familiar faces in the crowd, and many unfamiliar faces. Already she could feel her eyes tearing as she thought of the people who should be there and weren't; Kendra, Tara, Anya, Spike, so many other potentials. So many of their friends had died, how many of them didn't have to? She searched the faces looking for the one person she had been hoping to and fearing she would see. Where was Giles?

She sat down in the front row, Xander taking the seat next to her. Faith waved from across the aisle and Buffy smiled at her. The music changed and Willow started walking down the aisle with Alex, a friend of Andrew's, they parted at the front and turned to face the back of the theater. There was an upswing in the music and the doors opened to reveal Dawn standing, her dress sparkling and shimmering in the low light of the theater. Slowly, majestically she walked down the aisle.

Buffy struggled to contain her tears and was thankful for Xander to lean on. The ceremony was short and beautiful. They lit a candle for their friends that they'd lost and spoke their vows honestly and with conviction. Buffy found it hard to listen to as she tried to imagine a wedding that she doubted she would ever have.

Giles had arrived to Sunnydale late and cursing British Airways for their delays. He snuck into the back row of the theater to watch as Dawn and Andrew said their vows. She seemed to have grown even more since the last time he had seen her. No one noticed him standing there so he took the time to examine the backs of the guests' heads. He was surprised to see Willow standing up next to Dawn instead of Buffy. _Surely she would not miss her own sister's wedding_, he thought. He soon recognized her honey brown hair in the front row, drawn tightly up on her crown. _It had always looked better down_ he thought, remembering how it looked the last time they'd met. 

Giles closed his eyes at the pain the memory caused him. She had been so angry at him. He supposed it had been his fault for staying away so long, but her words had cut him to his core. 

_"Don't tell me how to do this Giles, I've been slaying for nearly half my life."_

_"I was merely giving you some helpful advice."_

_"What right have you to advise me? You're not my watcher anymore."_

_"I'm your friend Buffy, I wouldn't be much good to you if I kept silent when I thought you were making yet another mistake!"_

_"Another mistake? Is that what I've been doing? Making mistakes?"_

_"Well, we'd both be denying the truth if we said you hadn't made some mistakes in your past."_

_"You left, my mistakes no longer affect you. If you're really that worried try sticking around this time."_

_"You know I can't stay Buffy. I have a job in London, a life."_

_"Which doesn't include us? You haven't come back in nearly three years."_

_He could read the hurt in her eyes and felt terrible. "You never asked me to." She had stared at him like he had two heads for a moment before storming for the room. She left then, taking with her any reason he might have had for staying._

He shook his head to clear those memories. He recognized that the end of the ceremony and didn't want to be seen just then. Quietly he slipped from the ceremony. He would meet them at the reception after he had a chance to freshen up.

Buffy clapped with everyone else as the happy couple made it up the aisle. She let them go and stayed in her seat. When she was certain she was alone she made her way to the front. She walked passed the altar to look at the pictures with the candles flickering in front of them. It had been a nice touch to honor their fallen friends on this happy day. She lightly ran her fingers over the pictures of Tara and Anya until she came to Spike's. She stared at him, imagining his humor, his nonchalant smile as the world crashed down around him. She let a solitary tear trace it's way down her cheek before leaning over and blowing out the candle. "I miss you Spike."

The reception was already jumping when Buffy finally got there. Willow brought her a glass of champagne. "Where'd you go? Dawn was worried."

"Sorry I just stayed behind to talk to...well, to talk to Spike."

"You miss him a lot don't you?" Willow looked at her friend and tried to guess what she was thinking. It had been nearly six years since Spike's death and she had no idea that Buffy still thought about him. 

"I miss them all Willow, every day, even..." he voice trailed off.

"Even Giles?"

Buffy felt her tears choking her and nodded. She took a deep breath, "but let's not think about him tonight, I'm trying to be happy." She sipped her champagne and pointed to Dawn, "doesn't she look happy?"

"She does. Who would've thought, our little Dawnie, all grown up. Looks like Xander's coming to steal you for a dance."

"Hey lovely lady, looks like you could use some cheering up. Let Xander the magic dancer sooth your troubles away," he tried to move seductively which only succeeded in making Willow crackup and Buffy laugh hard enough she had to put her champagne down. 

"Okay, okay! I'll dance with you but only if you stop doing that. It's totally freakin' me out." She followed him to floor. He took her hand and began to sway to the music. She rested her head on his shoulder. "I've missed you Xander."

"Well, you could move back you know. There's plenty of troubled youth here, being the former site of a hellmouth and all."

"There's just so many memories here. Every time I come back to visit I go home a basketcase." 

"We all have our troubles Buff, but we help each other out. You need a support system." 

"Maybe," she missed being able to confide in someone. "If I came back, it wouldn't be the same."

"I know, it's not really a reunion unless..."

"Unless what? Xander," she looked up at him.

"Giles is here."

"I suppose that's true, sort of our den mother."

"No I mean Giles is here. Now." He let go of her and began walking across the hall. 

"Giles!" Dawn shrieked and ran across the room, nearly tripping on her dress in her excitement to reach him. "I didn't think you were going to make it!"

Buffy didn't hear his response, muffled as it was by Dawn's hug. Soon he was surrounded by everyone, smiling as he accepted hugs all around. Buffy watched from a distance, unsure of what to do. Part of her wished things could go back to the way they were, but it had been so long. She knew there was no going back. 

"Looks like the gang's all here," Faith stood next to her, "aren't you going to go and say hello?" When Buffy didn't answer she shrugged and joined the rest of the group.

Buffy watched them all, smiling and laughing, wishing she could be a part of it. She felt herself tearing up again. Giles looked up at her and she turned away before he could see her tears. Suddenly fearing a confrontation with him she began to walk from the room. She pushed past the dancers on the floor, unable to stem the flow of tears that coursed down her cheeks.

Giles had actually watched them all for quite a bit before Xander had noticed him. He couldn't help but notice how sad Buffy looked. Sad and beautiful. Her honey colored silk dress matched her hair and brought out her eyes. His first instinct was to go to her and try and comfort her. He had thought of cutting in on her and Xander's dance and surprising her, but thought better of it. Then of course he had been noticed. When she left he tried to follow but the rest of them had detained him until it was too late.

Buffy ran from the hall hardly noticing where she went. All she knew as she walked that her shoes were starting to hurt her feet and she was walking away from the house. It started to sprinkle and still she walked on. Soon the drizzle turned into a downpour. She was soaked to the bone by the time she stopped at the edge of town, where the school used to be. She stood on the edge of the crater and screamed out at that which had taken her youth and her happiness.

She stood sobbing in the rain until she could stand no more. She felt so tired all of a sudden. She just wanted to rest. She climbed down into the crater and picked her way over the rubble. She tried to find where the basement of the school would've been, where Spike was when he died. Making her best guest she laid down on a large piece of cement. Curling into a ball she let her tears fall while the rain pounded down on her.


	2. Chapter 2

Giles had wanted to leave the reception to follow after Buffy but the gang had kept him behind. He tried to get information about Buffy from Willow and Xander but it seemed like they knew just as much as he did. He had no idea of her being so alone. When he left he had taken comfort in the idea that she would have her friends, but it seems he had been wrong in that just as in so many other things.

He tried to make merry for Dawn's sake but had a feeling he was failing miserably. He was therefore glad when Dawn and Andrew made there getaway. He sat with Willow, Xander and Faith, calmly making small talk all the while wishing he could go and talk to Buffy. Soon Willow begged off, citing a waiting Kennedy. Xander was quick to follow, he had a job to do the next day. That left Faith and Giles.

"Just go talk to her Giles."

"What?"

"Buffy. Go find her and spill your guts."

"I'm not sure that's quite a good idea."

"Look you left, she shut down. She's barely been able to make it back here to visit since you've left. You hurt her a lot more than she'll let on. So get off your tweed covered ass and go tell her you're sorry."

"Don't you think she owes me one as well?"

"No."

"That's a bit hypocritical isn't it?"

"It's Buffy, maturity isn't her forte. Besides this all could've been solved if you hadn't left. Now go. Go! Before I have to kick your sorry butt all the way there."

"Fine, point taken." He stood up and began to walk away, quickly he came back and kissed her forehead, "I missed you Faith." He hurried from the room.

The rain was still coming down we he left the hall and made his way to the Summers' house. He knocked on the door but no one answered. He tried pounding and calling her name but still no one came to the door. His watcher-sense was beginning to tingle and he knew something was wrong. Where would she go if she was upset? If she were still 18 he'd know where to look, but now? He began walking trying to tune in on her, remembering their old stomping grounds. He found himself at the cemetery and walked through, instinctively taking the path to Joyce's headstone. Buffy's had been next to it when she died, but they had secretly gotten rid of it after her return.

He didn't really know where else to look at this point. Pulling his jacket around him tighter he began to wander aimlessly through the darkened streets. He didn't realize where he was going until he was there, standing at the edge of the crater. Here was where it all started, _and where it ended_ he realized. He stared into crater. _Was there someone down there? _He looked closer and in the dim orange glow of the street light he could make out a figure. _Oh my God,_ "Buffy!"

He scrambled down the jagged terrain, scraping his hands and knees. Her eyes were closed and for a moment he thought she had done something monumentally stupid. _Foolish girl,_ he picked her up in his arms and patted her cheeks. The rain had plastered her hair to her forehead and she was ice cold. Quickly he wrapped her in his jacket. "Buffy come on, wake up! Wake up Buffy!" Her eyes flickered. _Thank the lords,_ he thought. "Come on, let's get out of here."

He struggled up the side of the crater with her then immediately wished he had brought his car. She was in no condition to walk so he would have to carry her until they got somewhere warm and dry. Her house was technically closer, but if she had been out in the rain since she left the reception she would need the hospital, slayer strength or no. Gallantly he struggled with her in his arms until he reached the sliding doors of the emergency room. Once inside people rushed around him, taking her from his arms and rolling her away on a gurney.

"Sir, excuse me sir, we're going to need some information on your wife."

"My wife?" Giles realized they were talking about Buffy. "We're not married."

"Well, your girlfriend then."

"Yes, very well, what do you need to know?" He was too tired to try and correct their misapprehension.

"Her name would be a good starting point."

"Of course, Buffy Anne Summers."

"I see she's already in our system, although it's been awhile since we've seen her." Giles could remember every time they'd been in that hospital. "It says her emergency contact is a Mr. Rupert Giles. Do you know him?"

"That's me," he felt surprisingly humble that he was still her emergency contact, although he told himself that since the destruction of the hell mouth and because she was no longer the slayer she hardly had a reason to go to the hospital anymore. He took a seat in the waiting room and waited for the doctor to come out.

He was trying to remember why he had left. At first it had been because he was sure she needed to learn to stand on her own two feet. A slayer could not rely on her watcher too much. He had worried everyday he was away and was actually relieved when they told him he needed to return, that something was not right. And of course Buffy was waist deep in trouble. It had occurred to him then that even someone like Buffy, even the Slayer needed a support group, even if they did nothing but listen to her and comfort her.

When he left again it had been for entirely different reasons. It was those reasons that he tried to analyze now. With the burden of being the only Slayer lifted from her shoulders she had finally been free to pursue her own life. She didn't need a watcher anymore. That realization had hurt him. He had come to the realization that he had ceased being her watcher a long time before that. So then why did he go?

"Mr. Giles?"

He looked at the nurse with a clipboard, "yes?"

"Mr. Giles, we've admitted Buffy. We're not really sure what's wrong with her yet, but we're running some tests. Right now it looks like she's suffering the effects of exposure."

"Can I see her?"

"Of course, but she still hasn't woken up." Giles remembered her fear of hospitals and thought that was for the best. He followed her to the room and stepped inside and his breath stuck in his throat. She looked so small and vulnerable lying there. Was it wrong for him to like her this way? When it gave him a chance to take care of her? He preferred her strong and fighting but it was a nice change to have her like this once in a while. He took the seat next to her bed and took her hand.

He stroked her thumb back and forth over her knuckles and started talking. He didn't really know where the words came from but once he started he couldn't stop. He told her everything, even if she couldn't hear him. He tried to explain why he left and then why he'd stay away. He didn't look at her, just focused on the feeling of her hand in his. At some point he had started crying but he didn't care.


	3. Chapter 3

Buffy was finding it hard to open her eyes, the light seemed so bright. For a moment she thought that maybe she had died and was in heaven, but she soon realized that was not the case. She could hear someone talking and she struggled to look and see who it was. Whoever it was had her hand in his grasp. His voice was soothing and after listening for a minute she realized that it was Giles. She opened her eyes and watched him, listening carefully to his words. He was crying and she wanted to know why.

"If only I could make you understand why I left. Oh my darling girl, I'm afraid I've been the most appalling fool. If only we could start over again. There are so many things I would do differently."

Buffy felt tears flowing from her eyes, oh how she wished they could. She wondered if it was possible. She decided to try, "Don't cry, it doesn't suit you."

Giles jumped and quickly released her hand. "Buffy, thank goodness. I was worried about you."

"Where am I?"

"In the hospital," he saw the fear in her eyes, "but now that you're awake I'm sure you can go home real soon."

"Please Giles don't make me stay here."

She reminded him so much of when she was younger. "I'm sure they won't keep you any longer than absolutely necessary," he took her hand, "you don't have to be afraid."

The nurse came in then, "Oh good you're awake, I'll have the doctor come in and take a look at you. I'm afraid visiting hours are nearly over you'll have to go soon."

"Of course," he stood up, not really wanting to leave.

Buffy reached out to grab his hand, "Please don't go, don't leave me here."

He knew it was her fear that made her speak so, but it was impossible for him refuse her when she looked at him like that. "Of course Buffy, if you want me to stay then I will." He sat back down.

The doctor came in, and looked at her chart. "Well, there doesn't appear to be anything wrong with you that a good night's sleep and some warm blankets won't fix."

"When can I go home?"

"Now if you like, but take it easy for a few days."

Giles felt more relieved than he could've imagined. He sat on the edge of the bed. "I am glad, you had me worried for a moment."

"You know me, super slayer." She was happy to see him smile. "Giles?"

"Yes Buffy?"

"Take me home."

It only took a minute for her to get ready to leave. Discharge papers were signed and soon Giles was helping out her to the cab that would take them back to her house. He felt her weight on him and worried that perhaps she was worse than she let on. Once at the house he put helped her to the sofa and brought her blankets. "Perhaps you'd like a cup of tea?" She wrinkled her nose and he melted inside. He remembered that she didn't much care for tea. "No of course, how about a cup of hot chocolate?" Her face lit up and he returned her smile, "a cup of hot chocolate for you and tea for me."

He brought their cups out after bustling in the kitchen for a moment. He handed Buffy her hot chocolate before sitting down next to her. "Thank you."

"Is that better," he nodded toward her mug.

"Yes, but I feel like I'll never be warm again." She pulled the blanket around her.

Giles moved closer to her and put his arm around her. He watched to see if she would flinch or move away but if anything she seemed to move closer to him. Gently he began rubbing her arm, _in an attempt to warm her_ he told himself. "Do you want me to help you up to your room? Perhaps your bed would be warmer."

She seemed to tighten her grasp on him. "No! Please stay. I mean, I am too tired to move."

"So I suppose patrolling is out tonight?"

She smiled at his joke. "Will you stay here tonight?"

"Do you wish for me to?" God how he wished you would say yes.

"Please, I don't want to be alone." She could feel the tears welling up again.

"Sshhh," he pulled her closer, reclining on the sofa. "Go to sleep Buffy, I promise I'll be here when you wake up."

Feeling more secure and comforted than she had in years Buffy fell asleep listening to his heartbeat. She had longed to feel this ever since he left. And now it seemed as if she dreamt, held by his strong arms and warmed by his body.

Giles original plan had been to stay with her until she went to sleep then go back to his hotel, but as he lay there, stroking her head gently he thought better of it. He would stay as long as she would let him.


	4. Chapter 4

The next thing he knew daylight was streaming in through the window as he awoke. Buffy still slumbered gently on his chest and had dampened his shirt with drool. He shifted gently trying not to wake her but he felt her stir anyway. "Good morning."

Buffy pressed herself up to look around, she hadn't slept so well in a long time. "You stayed all night?"

"Do you mind? I did not wish to wake you." He wondered if she would be angry with him. "I only stayed because you asked me to."

Buffy sat up, "but I don't want you to do something you didn't want to."

"Buffy that's not what I meant." He could sense the cycle of allegations and recriminations about to start again. "I wanted to stay, but if you hadn't asked I would've gone."

"Just like always," her temper was rising.

"Well it is nice to be asked!" He was so frustrated by her.

"You never wanted to stay!"

"Damn it Buffy that's not true! Stop acting like a child. I left because I had to and I left because as far as I knew you didn't want me."

She was standing now, tears in her eyes, her face red with anger. "I've always wanted you to stay!"

Giles's first instinct was to yell back at her. How was he supposed to have known that behind her accusations and anger was a desire to be looked after and taken care of? Instead he lowered his head and ran his fingers through his silver hair. "I'm sorry Buffy, so very sorry."

Whatever she was going to say next disappeared as the man in front of her sat worn down and sad. He had always been a tower of strength for her; a stony pillar for her waves of anger and frustration to break upon, but she could see now that he was tired. Instead of continue to rant she sat back down next to him and took his hand. "I'm sorry too." She studied his hand, holding it in one and stroking it with the other. "I don't mean to yell at you every time we meet."

"I know." And he did, he had always known that he was the one she confided all of her problems to because the rest of her friends had their own. "I don't think I've been exactly fair to you, but I want you to know Buffy," he thought about how to phrase what he was going to say next, "I want you to know that I care a great deal about you, and I always will, but I need someone to lean on once in a while too."

Buffy leaned against his shoulder and felt him press back. "Are you really going to return England soon?"

"I don't know," he waited for her to make the first move.

Buffy sat quietly for a moment. "I'd like you to stay," she took his hand again. "I think it would be good for us to spend some time together."

Giles' heart swelled. "Okay, then I'll stay. How about breakfast?"

"Should we go out or eat in? I don't know what Dawn has in the fridge."

"Well shall I go have a look?"

"Sure, I'll go take a shower and change." 

Neither one of them moved. "Could I have my hand back then?"

Buffy blushed, she hadn't realized she'd still been holding it. "Sorry." She let go and stood up. "I'll be back down in a minute." She hurried up the stairs. She felt like she was coming out of a dark tunnel. Giles was staying with her and maybe, just maybe everything was going to be alright. She showered quickly and changed into a pair of jeans and a comfortable turtleneck sweater. She brushed her hair and put on a little makeup. She wondered why she was trying to look nice for Giles, but she refused to think to much about it, _I always put on makeup, why should today be any different?_

Giles stared into the fridge. There wasn't much in it although he figured that Dawn wouldn't have stocked it since she was going on her honeymoon and Buffy hadn't been planning on staying long. He scratched his neck and realized that he was still wearing the suit he had worn to wedding. He took off his tie and undid some of the buttons on his shirt. There was nothing here, they would have to go out to eat.

"Okay I'm ready." Buffy stopped as she entered the kitchen. Giles looked quite handsome for a fifty year old. His slacks were very flattering and with his shirt unbuttoned she could tell that he had kept the toned body that had become a requirement in the daily hunt for demons. If he wasn't Giles she say he was hot. _Hell even if it is Giles that's one hot man._ Buffy felt herself blushing.

She looked gorgeous in her turtleneck sweater that hugged her curves. Her hair was down and curling around her face. He like her like this, relaxed and easy, not taunt and prepared to hunt, or broken down. God she was beautiful. "The kitchen is empty, what do you say to IHOP?"

"Peachy. Do you have your car?"

"No, I'm afraid I left it at the hotel." He remembered all the walking he had done the previous night. 

"Then how did you get here? And to the hospital?" Buffy frowned as she tried to remember the events of the previous night.

"Don't you remember Buffy? I found you in the crater and carried you to the hospital. We took a cab home from there."

Buffy's face burned at the mention of all the trouble he had gone through for her. She was even more embarrassed by the fact that he had found her lying in the crater of the school, ready to die. What must he think of her? Surely he was only staying with her out of pity.

"Buffy?" He could see the pink that rose up from below her shirt to cover her face and realized that she must be embarrassed about how she had seemed last night. He wanted to tell her that it was okay, that it felt good to be useful again, but he knew that would only further her embarrassment so instead he changed the subject. "I'm sure there's something here we could eat, we don't have to go out."

She shook her head, trying to make herself calm down. "We can take Dawn's car, she's not using it now anyway." She grabbed the keys from the hook on the wall and opened the back door. He followed her into the yard, blinking in the bright sunlight that was such a change from the day before. Buffy sat in the driver's seat and at first Giles didn't get in. "Come on Giles, I've improved a lot since the last time you came driving with me. You'll be perfectly safe."

Hesitantly he folded himself into the passenger seat. "I forgot that Andrew was the size of a thirteen year-old girl."

Buffy laughed, "hey that's my brother-in-law you're talking about now. Besides you just need to adjust the seat." Without thinking she leaned across his lap and pulled the lever. The seat shot back and she found her face awkwardly close to Giles' lap. They both turned a brilliant shade of red as Buffy sat up and gripped the steering wheel until her knuckles were white. Giles fiddled with the seat until his knees were no longer in his armpits. 

He took his glasses off and polished them carefully, avoiding her gaze. "So Dawn won't let Andrew drive?"

"Would you?"

"No, well, point taken. Would it be possible for you to stop at my hotel I'd like to stop and change my clothes, I'm afraid I'm terribly over-dressed for the pancake special."

"No prob," Buffy put the car in gear and headed down the road into town. She pulled into a parking spot at the hotel and Giles released his whit-knuckled grasp from the door handle. Her driving may have improved somewhat but it still scared the daylights out of him. She smiled at him, brushing a golden strand of hair from her face, "do you want me to come up or stay here?"

"I'll just be a tick so you might as well just stay here."

"Okay," she turned the radio on. He hadn't been gone five minutes when the idea struck her that he should check out of the hotel and come stay at the house. She switched the radio off and went into the hotel. "Excuse me," she interrupted the girl at the front desk, "could you please tell me what room Rupert Giles is in?"

The clerk gave an exasperated sigh before looking at the computer, "room 326."

"Thank you." Buffy hurried into the elevator and pushed the button for the third floor. At first she hurried down the hall, but as the room drew near her pace slowed. How was she going to phrase this without making it sound like she was inviting him for a dirty weekend? _Would that be so bad?_ She silenced the voice in her head. She stopped in front of his door and took a deep breath. Noticing it was open she stepped in, "Giles?" She walked further into the room then stopped, mesmerized by what she saw.


	5. Chapter 5

In front of her, shirtless and well-muscled was her Watcher. She took in his strong back and broad shoulders, marked here and there by scars, most of which had been inflicted during their time together. Except for his silver hair, one would never have been able to tell he was fifty years old. He turned around, and surprised to see Buffy there, clutched his sweater to his chest. "Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" Buffy was unable to say anything fixated as she was by his chiseled pecs, lightly covered by dark curling hair. He could feel her stare burning into him and he wondered what she thought, if she liked what she saw. He dropped the sweater back on the bed. "Has something happened? Is something wrong?" She still didn't answer. He stepped closer and took her arms, and slightly alarmed by her seemingly inability to speak, he shook her, "Buffy!"

Overwhelmed by his scent, she stepped back, "the door was open."

His feeling of relief was replaced with mild annoyance. "Well what did you want?"

"Hmm?" Buffy shook her head. "Oh," she tried to ignore the warmth spreading throughout her body from where he held her. "I was thinking that you should come and stay at the house. No one else is there and I charge less than the hotel," she smiled at her feeble joke and tried to ignore the fact that she was finding it difficult to breathe as he stared at her.

He considered it for a moment. The obvious plus was that for however long he stayed he would be near her. The downside was that he would be near her, which he was finding out was a hard place to be when she was so beautiful, he was half-naked, and there was a bed right next to them. Feeling a bit reckless he nodded, "provided we find some food for your house that doesn't have a cartoon vampire on the front, I'd like that very much."

"Great!" Buffy's heart sang.

"Let me just freshen up then we can go." He went into the bathroom. Buffy sat on the bed to wait and looked at the sweater choices he had laid out. She was so used to seeing him buttoned up that she wondered what he'd look like in just a sweater. She put aside the black one he had been about to put on and picked up a forest green one, the wool was soft and smelt faintly of Giles; she brought it to her face and inhaled deeply.

Giles came out of the bathroom and was stopped dead by the sight that greeted him. Buffy was stretched out on the bed, head resting on her hand. His eyes moved from her delicate ankles, up her long legs, resting for a moment on her rear, toned from years of training, before continuing up past her breasts, which seemed to sing out to him, then up to her face. He was startled to see her staring back at him, with a look, that if he hadn't been so certain she only cared for him as her Watcher and friend, he would've described as lustful and wanton.

"Well, should we, I mean, let's," damn it he was stuttering like a schoolboy. "Are you ready, I'm quite famished," he knew he wasn't just talking about breakfast. Buffy sat up and he walked toward the door.

"Um Giles?"

"Buffy look, I'm..." he began to stutter out an apology. Silently he berated himself, _she must think I'm some perverted, dirty old man._

"Don't you think you should pack?" Buffy blushed, if only he knew the thoughts that just chased their way through her head.

"Oh, quite right." He came to the bed and began stuffing his clothes into his suitcase.

"And Giles?"

"Hmmm?"

She held out the sweater she had picked out for him smirking, "I think the International House of Pancakes has a pretty strict no shirt, no service policy." She watched as he blushed a deep burgundy and reached for the sweater, "we can always go someplace else though, I'm sort of diggin' this whole sexy, half-naked Watcher look." It was her turn to blush as she realized she'd just called her Watcher sexy out loud.

Quickly Giles pulled the sweater over his head, stifling some very British curses as he did. He was happy the sweater covered him at that moment though because he knew he must have blushed again at the idea of his Slayer calling him sexy.

Buffy waited for him to turn in his key then followed him out to the car. "Buffy?"

"I know what you're going to ask Giles."

"Oh really?"

"It may been a while but that whole Slayer/Watcher connection is still there, just a little out of tune."

"Well, since you know so much, what was I going to say?" He had to smile at her impertinence.

"You want to drive." She smiled at him and tossed him the keys. "I don't mind being chauffeured." She slid into the passenger seat, warm from the sun. "I know every little thing you're thinking," she laughed at her joke. Giles paled a little. He sure hoped she didn't know what he was thinking because it was becoming more difficult by the moment to keep his thoughts within what he deemed were appropriate grounds.


	6. Chapter 6

Breakfast, although by this point it was really more of a lunch, was wonderful. Buffy was really interested in everything he had to say and he spent most of the meal filling her in on what he'd been doing. Buffy found it easy to listen to him and found herself staring into his green eyes and watching his mouth shape itself around the words. She wondered if he had always been this sexy.

Afterwards they went to the store where Giles loaded the cart with British staples like Earl Grey and bangers. He told Buffy he was going to make her a traditional English breakfast and she would enjoy it so much that her traditional bowl of Count Chocula would never satisfy her again. By the time they had gotten home and loaded the fridge it was nearly dark outside.

"How about I go change then we do a little patrolling for old time's sake?"

"Sure you'd rather do that than just stay in?"

"Always sleep better after a walk and any moonlit walk in Sunnydale is bound to end in a fight. But if you don't want to come..."she let her voice trail off.

"No it's fine, a little physical activity is just what I need." He had been trying very hard all day not to think of other physical activities they could be involved in.

Moments later she came bouncing down the stairs dressed all in black. The clothes stretched tightly around her curves, emphasizing them even more. He swallowed the giant lump in his throat. "You look wonderful," it slipped out before he could stop himself.

She blushed, she seemed to be doing that a lot lately. "thanks, just your average going out outfit. Perfect for dinner, dancing and demon slaying." She gathered some stakes from the weapons locker. "Let's go." They walked together into the darkness, locking the door behind them.

The residual energy from the Hellmouth must be strong still Buffy thought as they entered the cemetery and came almost immediately on a group of vampires. Giles let Buffy take the lead and watched appreciatively as she sauntered right into their midst. She was poetry in motion as she began to fight them and he was so caught up in watching her that he didn't notice the vampire preparing to attack her from behind. Hear her exclamation of surprise and pain was all it took for him to launch himself into the fray.

As he battled the undead he used all of his anger. _How dare they lay a hand on his Slayer!_ He stake the vamp and enjoyed the feeling of satisfaction as he disintegrated into a pile of ash. Apparently he enjoyed it too much as another vampire was able to get in a few hits. His glasses knocked off his face he found it difficult to fight and was relieved when it disappeared in front of him to reveal an annoyed looking Buffy, "No one touches my Watcher!" He felt himself glow with happiness at the knowledge that he was hers, in whatever capacity. "Are you okay?" She handed him his glasses.

"Just taking my requisite knocks on he head. You?"

"Okay, scratched my back though," she stretched uncomfortably. "Let's go home. I think six is enough for one night."

They walked home together, arm in arm feeling the strength of the Slayer/Watcher bond. When they got home they went straight to the kitchen, Buffy to get the icepacks and Giles to make a pot of tea. He switched on the light, "Buffy your back!"

"Don't worry Giles, it's just a scratch," but even as she said it her knees buckled and she had to lean against the fridge. She reached back to feel it and when she looked at her hand it was covered in blood. "Okay, so not a scratch. Giles!"

He as with her in a moment, his strong arms encircling her, comforting her, giving her strength. He guided her to a chair before bending to examine her back. He was finding it difficult to concentrate surround as he was by her unique scent, but the sight of her blood made him queasy. It was only her blood that had the power to do this, and he knew because he had seen more gruesome things than most people could imagine and none of them affected him the way the sigh of his bleeding Slayer did. _That's right, she's mine. My Slayer, my Buffy, my everything. Just like I'm her Watcher,_ he thought. "It's difficult to see anything other than I'm afraid your sweater is ruined."

"If I had known he had destroyed my sweater I would've made his date with Mr. Pokey more interesting."

"Well Mr. Pokey aside you'll have to go upstairs and take it off so we can clean you up." He couldn't believe he was suggesting that she take off her clothes in front of him. He could hear Ripper in the back of his head, urging him to take advantage of the situation.

Buffy trusted him enough to know that it was the ploy of some dirty old man to see her naked. He probably wasn't even excited by the idea, even if the idea of being naked with him made her heart flutter and hands shake. Slowly she stood and began climbing the stairs.

Giles followed closely after Buffy as she climbed the stairs, trying to ignore the fact that her denim clad ass was swaying just and arm's length in front of him; of course he also had to avoid the sight of Buffy's injured and bleeding back, which basically meant he had to stair at his feet or at the ceiling. Buffy grabbed some towels and the first aid kit and sat on the bed while Giles went to fill up a bowl with some warm water. "You're going to have to take your shirt off," he steadied his shaking hands as he thought of her half-naked, sitting on a bed.

Buffy tried to pull her the ruined remnants of her sweater over her head but now that the adrenaline high she had been on was wearing off her back felt like it was on fire. "No good Giles. You'll have to cut it off. If she had ever thought of him removing her shirt it hadn't been like this. "There are some scissors on the desk there."

He sat down behind her with the large metal sewing shears. Gently he lifted the cashmere from her and began to cut it up the side, trying to stay away from the wounds that crossed her back. He saw her shiver as the metal blades moved up her back. How he wished she was doing it for some other reason. When he was done she pulled it off, leaving her in just her pants and a black lace bra. "And your, um, your undergarment? Can you get that off?"

"Is it ripped?" Buffy liked this bra, and didn't want to lose it if nothing was wrong with it.

"No, it, um it seems to be, well, fully intact," he was stammering and stuttering like this was the first bra he'd ever seen.

"Can you just unhook it for me then?" She smiled a little as she listened to his stuttering. Sometimes he could be so very British. She could hear his breath catch in his throat as he reached for the clasp.

_Come on old man, you can do it. It's hardly your first time and you've got every advantage, both hands, plenty of light_. Giles swallowed hard and reached for the clasp with shaking hands. Goosebumps covered her back. Buffy felt herself tremble as he touched her. A moment later the clasp was undone. Caught up in the moment Giles let his hand slide against her neck and down to her shoulder, slipping the strap off. He wanted to kiss her shoulder, her neck, whisper into her ear. _Good Lord, where did those thoughts come from?_

Buffy took the bra off then brought a towel to her chest, suddenly aware that all he would have to do to see her breasts with their hard nipples, _from the cold_ she told herself, was come in front of her. She could hear him wring out the washcloth in the bowl of warm water, then flinched as he put it to her skin. All of a sudden her senses felt supercharged. She could feel the knap of the terry washcloth as it scratched the dried blood from her back. She could visualize each drop of water as it traced a sinuous path down her back. And she could hear Giles breathing rapidly, just as she could hear her own heart thumping loudly in her ears.

He was mesmerized by her smooth skin and the curves of her back. Even when the last trace of dried blood had been removed he continued to bathe her back. Oh how he wished he could do this to the rest of her body. Chastising himself for being a dirty old man he put the washcloth, once white as snow, into the bowl where the water had turned red. "I'm going to have to disinfect it now." He took out the can of spray disinfectant, this was going to hurt.

Buffy gasped as the spray hit her, searing her like a flame. Instinctively she reached her hand back and grabbed Giles' free one. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the pain, allowing one tear to fall onto the towel. When the burning had subsided, she opened her eyes. Now she really wished she hadn't been so quick to stake that vampire. Gently Giles slipped his hand from hers so he could put the bandage on. "There, all done."

"Thank you Giles." Buffy moved her shoulders and felt the tape pull at her skin. She grimaced as she thought about pulling the tape off the next day.

"Well, I think it's time we both got some sleep. Remember I promised you a full English breakfast tomorrow."

"Could you get me a nightshirt Giles? There in the middle right drawer." She pointed to the chest of drawers .

"Of course," anything to stop looking at her breasts as they rose over the towel, threatening to spill over it at any moment. Did she know how sexy she was? He dug through the drawer until he found a likely candidate. He handed her the shirt, then laughed when she put it on. It had the Pillsbury doughboy on the front along with the words "My Dream Man". "Good night Buffy."

"Good night Giles." She watched him leave the room, wishing there was a reason for him to stay.


	7. Chapter 7

Several hours later Giles awoke with a start and sat up in bed, wiping the sweat from his neck and brow. He looked at the clock, _Christ, only two in the morning. How am I supposed to get back to sleep now?_ He punched his pillow irritably before laying back down. He was so tired of these dreams. Every night the same. He was running through a cemetery. He could hear Buffy call out for him, feel the fear and pain in her voice. She was hurt, bleeding, dying and he couldn't get to her. The worst part of the dream was when he did finally reach her only to discover that he was too late. He hadn't reached that part tonight. He sat up, so what had woken him up? He listened to the night intently then he heard it.

Getting up from the bed he walked into the hall. The noises were coming from Buffy's room. He approached the door silently, his bare feet padding softly on the carpet. She was moaning and talking. "Spike, no, please." He blushed, then frowned, she was having some sort of erotic dream, about Spike. He almost wanted to go in and wake her up, just to make it stop. He hated the knowledge the Spike had bedded his slayer. He was about to walk back to his room when her scream pierced the night.

Without thinking he opened the door and rushed in. Buffy was writhing on the bed, her body covered in a sheen of sweat. Moans and cries were escaping from her mouth, along with words mostly unintelligible to him. Then she became frantic, her screams louder. "No, no, no. Giles! Please don't be dead Giles not you!" She was crying now, and he couldn't take it any more.

He sat on the edge of her bed, "Buffy?" He lightly touched her shoulder and she sat bold upright, her eyes unseeing.

"Get your hands off him! I won't let you take him. He's not dead, he's not! Giles wouldn't leave me!"

He grabbed both of her shoulders and shook her, "Buffy, wake up. It's just a dream Buffy I'm right here."

"No, no, dead, they're all dead. I've killed them; it's my fault."

He shook her again, she was beginning to really frighten him. "Buffy!"

Finally she seemed to snap out of it. She blinked a few times and before he had a chance to say or do anything she threw her arms around him and sobbed into his shoulder. Gently he stroked her hair and waited for her sobs to stop. When they did she pulled away to look at him. She cupped his face with one hand and ran her fingers over it, trying to make sure that he was real. "You're here aren't you? This isn't the dream?"

"I assure I'm quite real." She rested her head on chest, her breath slowly returning to normal. She could hear his heartbeat and found it to be very soothing. "Buffy do you want to talk about it?"

"No, not right now." She sniffed and wiped the tears from her eyes. The dream was still too fresh, to raw. She could still feel his blood, covering her hands.

"Are you ready to go back to sleep?"

She nodded, but when he stood to leave she tightened her arms around him. "Please don't leave alone. I'm so tired of being alone."

"Okay, I'll stay with you." He laid back on her bed, letting her rest her head on his bare chest and pulled the covers over them both. They would have to talk about this in the morning. He closed his eyes and for the second time in as many nights they both fell asleep in each other's arms.

It was not the sun slanting on the bed in the morning, or the gentle snores of the man she rested her head on that woke her the next morning. Buffy was rather rudely awakened by the telephone. Her hand groped around on the nightstand while Giles began muttering something. "This had better be good."

"Buffy? What are you doing there?"

"Willow?" She was too much asleep to adequately process the situation. "Why are you waking me up so early?"

"Well, for one thing it's not early, it's nearly noon. And for the other, I didn't know you were there. Weren't you supposed to fly home yesterday?"

"Forgot," Buffy scratched her head as she realized that she had in fact forgotten about her return flight home. She looked at Giles, who was trying to rub the sun from his eyes. "So why are you calling if you knew no one would be here?"

"Just leaving a message for Dawn." Giles rolled out of bed and onto the floor, then sat up rubbing his head and cursing. "Is someone there with you?"

Buffy could hear the smirk in Willow's voice. "Yes, no, I mean sort of." How was she suppose to answer that? _"I'm just laying here half-naked with a shirtless Giles." I don't think so._

"Sort of? Well, hey since you're in town do you want to grab some lunch with me and Xander? We didn't have much of chance to catch up with you at the wedding."

_And give up precious Watcher time_? "Sure thing."

"Great, we'll be over in a few." Willow hung up the phone before Buffy could reply.

"Looks like you'll have to forgo that English breakfast."

Giles was still sitting on the floor. "Who was that?"

"Willow. Her and Xander are on their way over."

"At this uncivilized hour?"

"Giles it's nearly twelve o'clock. How's your head?"

He groaned, "I didn't realize how small this bed was.

She blushed, then smiled sympathetically, there wasn't really room for two in her bed. "Why don't you take a shower? I'll make us some tea."

He smiled, she sure knew how to cheer him up. "Alright I'll be down in a few." He stood and Buffy watched him walk out of the room to the shower. She knew that he wanted to talk about what happened last night, and the night before, but she wasn't sure if she was ready for that. It was good that Willow and Xander were coming over, it would take his mind off it. She dressed quickly and went to put the kettle on. Moments later there was a knock on the door.

"Hey Buffster good to see you again!" Xander embraced her.

"Yeah, I'm glad you decided to stick around. We haven't gotten a chance to talk lately." Willow hugged her too, "although it would've been nice if you had told me."

"I was going to," Buffy lied, "I was just tired. Work's been crazy lately and I decided to give myself a little vacation."

"I see," they followed Buffy into this kitchen. "So who is this person that you were sort of with when I called?"

Xander nearly spit the milk he was drinking out. "Buffy was with someone?"

"Ha ha. I wasn't 'with' someone. He just happened to be near me when you called." That didn't sound as innocent as she had meant it to.

"So spill." Willow's eyes were glowing with a chance to hear some gossip to share with Dawn.

"Spill what?" Giles came into the kitchen. Buffy was afraid that Xander was really choking now as he started coughing and sputtering. Giles gave him a queer look, "did I hear someone mention tea?"

"Water's boiling," Buffy said absentmindedly as she went to fridge to pour herself some juice.

"What happened to you back Buffy?"

"Oh that," she had almost forgotten, she reached back and pulled the gauze away. Instead of the large open wounds she'd had the previous night there were just some equally unattractive, livid pink scars. "Just one of the little extras being a slayer comes with."

"You went patrolling last night," Willow looked from Buffy to Giles, noting the slight bruise on his face.

"Without us? Come on guys I thought we were a team!" Xander pulled a sad face.

"Yes well," Giles took the whistling kettle from the stovetop, "it wasn't exactly planned. Buffy?" He waved the kettle at her and she shook her head.

"You know good ol' Sunnydale. You're just walking to store for some milk, minding your own business and a group of vampires always gets in your way."

"A group? It wasn't just one?"

"Do think I'd nearly have my back ripped open if it were just one?"

"Well, that's a change," Willow frowned. Her, Kennedy and Xander had been keeping a pretty close eye on things lately. "Usually there's just one or two of them."

"Last night there were six."

"You don't think something could be happening? You know Hellmouth wise?" Her eyes lit up at the prospect of an old-fashioned research session.

"No I think it was just a one off," Giles sipped his tea. He looked at Buffy's back, "looks okay. Never ceases to amaze me just how fast you heal." He looked at it again for a moment noticing that the brilliant pink slash marks weren't the only scars she carried.

Willow's face fell. "Oh, okay."

"Well you don't have to sound so depressed about it. Don't you think we've saved the world enough already?"

"I guess."

"Poor Willow. I think she just wants to research." Xander pulled her close and messed up her hair. "So how about lunch?"

After a brief argument on where to go everyone piled into Xander's SUV and headed to a restaurant downtown. Buffy ended up being quite happy that she had accepted their invitation and it felt almost like old times as they sat around the table. Everyone had something to talk about and none of it was related in anyway to the apocalypse. Xander constantly made fun of Giles' britishness while Willow tried to extract as much info as she could from Buffy about her life in Chicago. Occasionally Buffy would look at Giles and see his eyes sparkling across the table at her. It was good to see him smiling and laughing.

"So I vote we all go home, get kitted out in our finest then hit the town for dinner, drinks and dancing."

"Oh Xander."

"Come on it's been ages since we've done anything fun and non end of the world related." He looked at Buffy. "You know you want to."

"It'll be fun, we could invite the gang!"

"Fine, but I don't have to be happy about it." Buffy crossed her arms in a mock pout.

"How about you Giles?"

"I think those are activities best left to the young." He took off his glasses and began to wipe them on his shirt as if to remind them that he was the mature adult.

"But if you don't go who will pay?"

"Ah I see. I might then suggest that I'll make an appearance for dinner, but I'm not promising anything else."

"Hooray! Three cheers for Giles!" Willow tossed her napkin into the air, earning a look of reproach from the waitress. "You guys go back to the house and get ready. I'll go home and call everyone, then we'll meet up, say eight? At that Italian restaurant?"

"Sounds great," Giles sounded less than enthused, he looked at Buffy and mouthed "everyone?" She smiled and nodded. She was going to make sure that he had a good time tonight. Xander paid for their lunch and they all went their separate ways once they were out of the restaurant. "Why do I have to go and get ready now? I'll probably just wear what I'm wearing now."

"I'm sure she just meant me. I'm going to have to do all that girly stuff that girls do when they get dressed up to go out for a night on the town."

He looked at her alarmed. "It's just us, you always look fine."

"Well, you never know who you might meet." She smiled at him over her shoulder and started jogging back to the house.

Giles felt sick to his stomach. If she was going to spend the evening flirty with every attractive male within a five mile radius he'd rather not be around to see it. Every time she had a boyfriend their relationship became strained, even after they had given up on the "rules" of being the Slayer. The truth was, even if he didn't want to admit him to himself, he didn't like the idea of other men putting their hands on her. He liked being the only man she could rely on. When he finally got back to the house he could hear Buffy upstairs in the shower. He went into the kitchen and made himself another pot of tea, it was going to be a long night.


	8. Chapter 8

_Buffy stayed in the shower until the water turned cold. Then she went to her room where she spent an inordinate amount of time moisturizing and painting her nails. She put her hair in curlers and changed into a comfy sweatsuit. She already knew what she was going to wear. She looked at the deep blue mini dress hanging on her closet door. She knew she looked good in it and that just about anyone would be hard pressed not to look at her in it. She had told Giles that you never know who you'll meet, but really she wanted to dress up for him. __Call it an experiment_ she told herself.

At seven Giles called up the stairs. He had been aimlessly wandering around the house, wondering what could be keeping her locked in her room. "Buffy are you ready? We're going to have to leave soon."

"Almost I'll be down in a minute." She put her dress on and admired herself in the room. At least being the Slayer kept her from being fat. She put her shoes on and fluffed her hair. A dab of lipgloss and one last look in the mirror and she was ready. Slowly she descended the stairs. 

Giles heard her on the stairs and turned to look at her, an admonishment on his lips that died as soon as he caught sight of her long, luscious legs. He stood starry eyed at the bottom of the stairs and waited for her. God he wanted hold her, run his hands over her body, up those legs. He could tell that she'd spent a long time on her hair but he longed to run his fingers through it and mess it up.

Buffy smiled at him pleased with the reaction she was able to illicit from the normally uber-buttoned up brit. She brushed past him, her hand on his shoulder, "If you take a picture it'll last longer. Now close your mouth before something crawls in it." She reached for her jacket. He took it from her, his mouth closed but still speechless, and held it out for her. She began to wonder if she'd made a mistake, surely he would've said something by now. "Is something wrong with my dress? Because I can change it."

"No, you're wonderful, simply amazing."

Her million watt smile stretched across her face. "Thank you. Are we ready?"

"Just one second." He ran up the stairs feeling horribly under-dressed. He rummaged through his clothes until he found his blue shirt. Pulling the sweater from his body he put his shirt on and hurriedly buttoned it. Grabbing his black leather jacket he rushed down the stairs. "Okay, now I'm ready."

"You look nice, but..."

"But what?" _Oh no, had he gone too far? Did it look like he was trying to hard to look young?_

She reached forward and began to unbutton his shirt. He thought he was having a heart attack as her fingers grazed his chest. "You missed a button. She rebuttoned them in the right order, leaving several of the top ones undone. He tried to regain control of his breathing. "First one to the car gets to drive!" She laughed and ran down the steps. Half of his blood might've been below his belt but he knew enough to race after her. Under no circumstances would he being a willing passenger in any car that Buffy was driving.

Luckily he made it to the car before her; she was having a hard time running in her heels. He watched her slide into the cark pulling her skirt down and crossing her legs. He rearranged himself before sitting down behind the steering wheel. He was glad he was driving, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to stop staring at her legs without the car to distract him. As it was he nearly drove it off the road several times.

At the restaurant he hurried around to open her door for her. He felt his heart skip a beat when she took his hand. They walked into the restaurant. He fiddled with his buttons, he wasn't used to having so many undone. He would've done them up, but Buffy like them that way so he was going to leave them.

The gang was all there Buffy noted as the waitress led them to the large table in the center of the room. Willow and Kennedy were mirror images of each other, Willow in a black dress with her flaming red hair and Kennedy dressed in red, her ebony locks contained in a clip. Xander was sitting on his own, he made apologies that his Kristin, his new girlfriend, couldn't be there, she didn't like to hear about his "extra-curricular activities". A few other Scoobies sat around and Faith was sitting, smug smile and all, next to Robin across from Buffy and Giles.

Despite the size of the table it was very cozy. Buffy and Giles were sitting so close that he could feel the warmth of her thigh as it pressed against him. The wine flowed freely and everyone seemed happy. He watched her eyes sparkle and her mouth as it stretched into endless smiles. He wished he could always see her like this, but sooner or later the Big Bad would return, it always did. 

"Yo Giles? Can't a girl get a little love?" He looked up irritably, startled from his reverie. "Do you think you could toss me a breadstick?" 

He passed the basket across the table. Someone grabbed his thigh, he jumped and looked down. He followed it up from the finely painted and manicured nails, past the delicate wrists, crossed by silver bracelets, and up to the shoulder. _Why was Buffy holding his leg?_ She wasn't looking at him, but focusing on Willow and Xander as they relived some high school memory. He wondered if she knew what she was doing and as if she were reading his mind she squeezed it again. He wanted to take her hand, hold it in his, bring it to lips, gently kiss each delicate knuckle. Slowly he slid his hand down, but just as it reached hers she pulled it away. 

Buffy felt him tense up under her hand when she had squeezed his leg. She had meant it as a form of reassurance, she knew that Faith wasn't the easiest person to deal with, but when he relaxed and she found that she rather liked being able to touch him like that, she had kept it there, even squeezing it again. She did her best to keep her attention on Willow and Xander, she didn't think anyone could see what she was doing, but when she felt him graze her hand with his own she quickly took her hand away.

"Now that dinner's done, what are a couple of crazy young hipsters, and one guy who has to worry about his hips," Xander winked in Giles' direction before getting slapped on the back of the head by Buffy, "going to do?"

The Scoobies who were all quite a bit younger than the rest of them began suggesting the latest and hippest club. Faith suggested a bar that everyone knew was disreputable and most likely infested with vampires. Giles half-heartedly suggest a movie and popcorn at the house, but Buffy said she wouldn't let him sit at home being all "British". Finally someone suggested going to the once again rebuilt Bronze. After plenty of poking and prodding Giles finally agreed to go and they all left the table.

Everyone split up into their separate cars and met half an hour later in front of the Bronze. Loud club music was thumping through the walls and Buffy could remember all the times they'd fought off evil there. This was where she first kissed Angel and where she had learned that fighting vampires with friends was a lot better than fighting them alone. For a moment she dropped back from the group, now that she was here she wasn't sure if she wanted to go in.

"Buffy, are you okay? We don't have to stay you know, we could just go home." He hoped that he didn't sound to excited by the idea of returning to the house for a cup of tea, a warm fire and a good book.

She shook her head, "No, we're here to have fun, and we're all going to. Even you Mr. Tweedypants."

"I'm not wearing tweed tonight," he wondered if she'd even bothered to really look at what he was wearing.

"Oh, I know. And I think I like this Giles a little bit more." She smiled wickedly at him before walking up to the bouncer. He lifted the velvet rope for her, but put it back down before Giles could cross. "Come on Giles."

"Well it seems to be full." He knew why the bouncer was keeping him out but he wasn't about to admit that he thought he was too old.

"Come on dude, he's with me!" Buffy fixed the bouncer with her sweetest smile.

"Sorry, it's policy." He shrugged his shoulders then lifted the rope so a couple who looked like they were in their teens could pass.

Buffy was getting angry, "look pal, all we want to do is go in, have a few drinks, do a little dancing, just let him in before I have to make you."

Giles watched her, enjoying how she looked when her temper was all flared up. "Buffy it's not that important, all see you back at the house." He turned to go, but she grabbed his wrist, holding him fast. Then she put her head very close to the bouncer's, he couldn't hear what she said to him, but she saw his eyebrows go up and his eyes widen. It took Giles a moment to realize that she had grabbed his crotch. 

The bouncer lifted the rope and Buffy pulled Giles in, flashing the bouncer her sweetest smile, "Thank you." She turned to Giles once they were inside, "what a dick."

"Nice one Buff, I was worried you'd gone soft." Faith smiled. "Giles the rest of them are over there," she pointed in the general direction of their favorite corner. "Buffy and I need to go freshen up. And I imagine she wants to wash her hands." Before either of them could protest Faith dragged Buffy off to the bathroom. "So what was that about?"

"He wouldn't let Giles in, so I convinced him." Buffy checked her makeup in the mirror. 

"And when you had your hand in his lap at dinner?" She watched Buffy blush. "So are you two, how should I put this, shagging?"

Buffy blushed even further and had the decency to look embarrassed by the suggestion. "No, Faith, how could you even think that?" Even as she said it she thought about it and the blush on her cheeks deepened.

"Oh come on Buff, I've been watching you all night. I see the way you look at each other. And haven't you noticed that you're way more dressed up than everyone else? You either did that for someone you know or someone you want to know."

"He's old enough to be my father Faith." _Giles couldn't possibly be attracted to her._

"Trust me he was not looking at you with fatherly admiration. Besides, except for that dumbass Parker, and GI Joe, he's the youngest guy you've dated. And let's face it, he's still pretty damn hot." Buffy couldn't deny those facts, so instead she remained silent. "Just say the word if you want me distract everyone so you can sneak away and jump his bones."

"Just drop it Faith!" All this talk was making Buffy think of things that she didn't want to and it frustrated her.

"Okay, okay, Buffy, just trying to help, you know be a part of the Slayer sisterhood. Just tell me one thing and I promise I won't bug you anymore."

"What?"

"You do like him though right? Just the tiniest bit?"

What was the point of denying it? Faith had already hit everything on the head. "Maybe, just a little."

"Excellent," she dried her hands, "let's get back, I promised Robin a down and dirty dance." They laughed as they exited the restroom and joined their friends. 

Buffy sat on one of the sofas next to Giles. "Miss me oh Watcher of mine?"

"Terribly," once again he was struggling not to stare at her legs. 

"Do you want a drink? My treat." 

"No, I doubt they have anything palatable here anyway."

"Come on, live a little," she elbowed him in the side. "I'm gonna get a drink and it makes sense for me to get yours while I'm up there."

"If you insist, Scotch, neat."

"Great, back in a few." She stood up and made her way to the bar and suddenly he was happy that he had let her go for the drinks since he was able to watch her walk away. He would've been mortified if he could see Faith's expression as she watched him, but as it was he was able to enjoy the moment in blissful ignorance.

At the bar she ordered his scotch and a cosmo for her, knowing that she would be teased for her girly choice in drinks. She was waiting for them when she felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning her face fell when she realized that it was just some guy.

"Hey can I buy you a drink?"

She picked up the drink the bartender put in front of her, "already have one."

"Then how 'bout a dance?"

"No thanks, I'm here with some friends."

"Maybe I could join you. My name is Connor," he held out his hand but she just looked at it with contempt and a raised eyebrow. The bartender put down the glass of scotch and Buffy passed him the twenty. She tried to go back to the group but Connor was blocking her way. "I don't think they'd mind if you danced with me for a minute." He cast an appraising glance up and down her body, "besides, it looks like you came out for a little fun tonight."

Giles was wondering where Buffy had gone. Perhaps he could tell her the music was giving him a headache and then slip out. He stood and made his way to the bar. He could see her standing there a drink in each hand while some guy talked to her. Giles felt a tidal wave of jealousy well up in him as he watched the guy run a hand up and down Buffy's arm. Realizing when she flinched that she was not enjoying his attentions Giles pushed his way through the crowd. He shoved the guy.

"Hey what's your problem!?" 

"You, you pillock! Do you always go around harassing girls?"

"Why don't you mind your own business?"

"She is my business," he knew he'd have to pay for that remark later.

"Fine, whatever." Buffy began to walk away, Giles following behind her, "she's obviously some sort of freak if she's into geezers anyway." 

They both turned around, Giles thought he was going to explode, but Buffy solved the problem first. "Hold this," she passed the scotch to Giles and before anyone had a chance to react or stop her she landed a right cross to his jaw that brought him down. Instantly a crowd gathered around and the gang had stood up, ready for a fight. "Ass," she shouted at Connor's prone body. "Come on, let's get out of here." They had both finished their drinks by the time they had returned to the table. "I think I'm gonna head home before I cause anymore trouble. It was fun guys, maybe we can do something tomorrow."

"Hold on Buffy, we'll go with you." Willow stood up, dragging Kennedy with her.

"No it's okay Will, I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight," she kissed Xander on the cheek before grabbing her purse and walking toward the exit. Giles followed after relieved to be in the cool night air. He followed her, hurrying to keep up with her large, angry strides. He wondered when she was going to yell at him for his possessive statement. She stopped walking and he knew it was coming; he braced himself for her fury. "She is my business?" She raised an eyebrow trying to look putout. 

Giles winced, "well, I am your Watcher." He was so certain that she was going to yell at him that when she started laughing he was completely taken aback. "I don't see what's so funny, he had his hands all over you. He was being a total cad."

"Oh come on. 'She is my business.' Look at you all manly Giles. So big and strong, defending the beautiful Buffy. You gotta see how that's funny." She laughed again.

"I couldn't help myself, I didn't like him touching you, even the idea of it..." he let his voice die as he realized how perilously close to telling her the awful truth he was.

They walked in silence back to the car. Their drive was also silent and he watched Buffy through the corner of his eyes as she seemed to struggle with some internal problem. At the house she wearily climbed the stairs and went into her room, shutting the door behind her. Giles went to the kitchen and made some tea. It was only ten o'clock and he knew he needed to talk to her about the previous nights. 

Carefully he climbed the stairs with a mug in each hand. He knocked on the door, "Buffy? Buffy can I come in?"

"Door's open."

He pushed it open and gasped. The room was in shambles, clothes everywhere, curlers on the floor; he'd finally seen the disaster caused by a woman's quest to make herself beautiful and it frightened him. "I thought you might like some tea."

"Thank you." She took the mug from him and sipped carefully at it. She had changed into a pair of baggy sweatpants and Sunnydale University shirt and put her hair back in a ponytail. "Sorry, it's a bit of a mess." 

"Yes, well, I suppose beauty does take a lot of hard work."

She brightened, "you thought I looked pretty?"

She sounded so much like the lost teenager he used to know, he thought her even more beautiful now, if not a bit too sad. "You were stunning." He watched her smile at his words then frown as she was caught up once again whatever she was thinking about when he came in. "Look Buffy, I think we need..."

"To talk, I know." She knew he had been working toward this conversation ever since the day before.

"You've been worrying me ever since I got back. What happened after the wedding?" He saw her face darken.

"I can't talk about it Giles."

"But Buffy," he didn't understand. He wanted to help her so much but he couldn't if she wouldn't open up to him.

"No, Giles." She couldn't tell him, anyone but him. He couldn't know how weak she'd been, how ready to give it all up. The idea that Giles might think less of her wounded her to her core.

"Buffy let me help you." He reached out to brush a piece of hair back from her face. He was startled when he looked into her eyes and saw such sadness, such exhaustion.

"Please just go away!" His kindness was too much for her to bear and the tears she had kept dammed spilled from her eyes. 

He reached out for her again, "Buffy..."

"No, Giles," she brushed her tears away angrily. "You're just going to leave again. If I lean on you now I'll fall when you go."

"I don't have to go, not yet." He was surprised to see such a glimpse into her manner of thinking. 

"But you will leave," it was more of an accusation than a statement. "Why don't you just go? You can't fool me into thinking that you've been enjoying your time here." He tried to stutter out a reply but Buffy kept on. "I don't need a babysitter if you think that's what you're doing you can just go home tomorrow."

"You think that's what I've been doing?" Giles could feel himself growing angry, not because of what she was saying but because it was now clear to him that she had no feelings for him and any growing attachment he might have felt was completely one-sided._ Oh what a fool I've been!_ "Well if that's how you feel Buffy perhaps I should go."

She knew she had just told him to go but she was still hurt by his decision. "Fine, go!" 

Giles stood, and worked at trying to form some words. Failing miserably he turned to go. He paused at the door and sighed. "Buffy I'm sorry if you felt I've been more patronizing than feeling and caring. I had no intention of hurting you in anyway. I'll pack my bags and leave tomorrow if you so desire." He shut the door and stood outside it for a moment, his heart breaking a little. 

Buffy was so upset and confused. She had not meant to send him away, but in the same respect she almost felt as if she could not stand to keep him near knowing that he thought of her only as friend, or worse, someone who needs looking after. In her anger she threw her tea cup at the door where it shattered, spraying the nearby dresser with hot tea. Unable to help herself she threw herself back on her bed and sobbed.

Giles had heard the cup smash, followed by her cries. He longed to go to her. To comfort her as he had the past two nights but she had made it clear that was unacceptable. Instead he changed into his nightclothes and climbed into bed. He would try and sleep and in the morning he would go to the air port and try and catch the next flight home.


	9. Chapter 9

Buffy could not sleep. She wanted to go to him and apologize to tell him that she hadn't meant it and that she was just so unbearably sad when he wasn't around, but he had made it quite clear that he could never think of her as more than a friend. Still she tossed and turned, wondering what to do. She was nearly decided that his going was for the best when she heard him cry out.

Reflexes sharp from years of slaying she was standing up immediately, ready to fight. Grown too hot in the night she had removed her sweatshirt and stood only in her sweatpants and a close-fitting tank top. She could hear his moans and cries down the hall and she padded silently from the room. There was no sign of any demonic disturbance as she pressed her ear to his door.

"Please God, please don't take her!" Buffy was startled to hear his plaintive cries; she wondered who he was speaking of. "Don't go Buffy, don't leave." Buffy pushed the door open. Giles was laying bed, the covers twisted about him, his brow covered in sweat. He was crying and shaking as she drew near the bed. His grief overwhelmed and frightened her and she had no idea of what to do. She sat on the bed and took his clammy hand in hers. He sat up then, and stared into her eyes, unseeing. "What new evil is this?" He caressed her cheek and she stopped breathing for a moment. "What do you want from me that you send me this vision of my love? Have you not taken enough from me already?"

"Giles?" She reached out to touch his cheek. "Giles, it's me, Buffy, it's your slayer." She put her arms around him then. "I'm right here, no one has taken me."

"Buffy?" He seemed to wake up, his arms went snuggly around her. "Sweet dream you are here." He held her face in his hands and kissed her forehead. "Whatever magic this may be I will enjoy it a moment longer." He held her tightly and drew her back onto the bed next to him. Buffy found a comfortable spot on his shoulder and relaxed into him, trying to give him the comfort he was so desperately seeking. He seemed to calm down, his cries ceased and soon he was sleeping peacefully.

In the morning he was at first startled when he woke up and felt her weight against him, but as he lay there his memories from the night before came back to him; the horrors of his nightmare, holding Buffy's dead body in his arms, he swore he could feel the weight of her in his arms. Then he remembered the joy and confusion when he saw her in front of him. He thought perhaps someone was torturing him, like Angelus and Druscilla had with Jenny. Still he had been so happy to see her that he hadn't cared. The rest of the night had been peaceful and he wondered if the girl slumbering next to him had something to do with that. He had told her that he was leaving in the morning but instead of getting it up he pulled the blankets around them tighter.

Buffy woke up to him gently stroking her arm. "Good morning," she propped herself up. Under her white tank top he could see the outline of pert breasts and pink nipples. He struggled to keep his eyes up above her collarbone, which he still wanted to trace with his fingers. "I suppose I should get up."

"Wait a moment Buffy," he tightened his grip on her, keeping her close to his body. He could see that she was about to protest so he put his finger to her lips. "Just wait a moment, I want to talk to you, and I want you to listen." She ceased her struggles and he took a deep breath. "I don't want to go Buffy, not yet anyway."

"Giles, I don't really want you to go."

"But I'm only staying on the condition that we're honest with each other. I'll be honest with you, if you're honest with me." Buffy knew what he was referring to. He was asking her to take a huge risk that she wasn't sure she was ready for. "If we can't do that, if we can't be honest with each other than there's no reason for me to stay here." He had laid it out for her and he would see if it was enough to draw her out.

"Okay," she wanted to turn over a new leaf with him. She didn't see the relieved look that crossed his face. "On one condition."

"What's that?"

"We get dressed and go downstairs. You owe me an English breakfast and the bed is no place to discuss deep and hidden secrets that could tear us apart." She laughed half-heartedly at her joke, thinking just how true it was.

"You promise you'll come down?" She nodded and he let her go. He dressed quickly and went downstairs. He was so nervous that his hands shook as he fried up the sausage and eggs for breakfast. He was going to have to tell her everything, she wasn't the only one who was keeping secrets. Buffy brushed her hair and put on some clothes. She was scared. What if she told him everything he wanted to know and he decided he couldn't be with her anymore?

They sat across the table from each other, each of them nervously playing with their food. They started talking at the same time.

"This is very good."

"Perhaps you want to go first?"

"Sorry." "No, I was just thinking, perhaps you want to ask me something first."

She thought for a moment, there were so many things she wanted to ask him. "How long have you had the nightmares?"

"Years. I think the first time was after you killed the Master. When I heard that you had died, I felt terrible for putting you in such a position. Chosen One or not it all seemed terribly unfair. There's barely been a night when I've slept peacefully."

"Last night, what did you dream about?" He fiddled with his teacup. "Honesty remember?"

"I dreamt that you died. You fought, you won but it was all for naught because you died." And then so quiet she could barely hear him, "I couldn't save you." She reached across the table and took his hand. He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. "And you? How long have you had nightmares for?"

"Well, I've always had nightmares since I became the Slayer. I think the first really bad ones I had were after Angelus took you and the others. Because of me, my weakness, you almost died."

"The night before this one? You dreamt about Spike?"

"Yes, about the final battle." She knew he was thinking something that wasn't true.

"I'm sorry we couldn't save him." He meant it. He hadn't approved of her dealings with Spike, ever since he found at about his attempted rape of Buffy, but he couldn't deny that they had a strong bond. It had hurt him to know that Buffy had turned to Spike for comfort while he was away and even when he came back.

"I know that he's happy now. I've been there, where he is now...it's wonderful. He deserves the peace that he has." She smiled sadly, remembering her brief time in heaven. He reached across the table to wipe her tears away. No event had conflicted him more than Buffy's return from the dead. He had been so happy to have her back, but saddened by the knowledge that she'd been ripped away from heaven. "Giles, why did you leave?"

He knew she would ask that question, although he had hoped that she wouldn't. "You know why I left the first time." He took his hand away from her.

"I needed to learn to stand on my own two feet." She looked down at her plate and whispered, "I still needed you."

"Yes, I had no idea that things would go the way they did. And then Willow, well, I blamed myself for that."

"It was my fault, I should've seen it." She remembered Willow's slow descent into a world of magic she could not save her from. She remembered feeling so useless so helpless.

"Buffy it wasn't your fault. It was unfair for someone so young to take on so much. Spike, Dawn, a job, being the Slayer, it was too much. I should've realized that you didn't just need someone to take care of you. You needed someone who understood you, someone you could confess your troubles to."

"Then you left again," she remembered the pain that had come with that.

He wasn't going to admit the real truth to her yet. How would _I love you and left because I didn't think you could ever love an old basket case like me. _"I think we all deserved a chance to make a go of our lives. I had worried about demons and vampires for too long. I thought, however wrongly that with so many other slayers that you would finally be free to focus on other aspects of your life. And you did. You went to school and got a job, that wasn't flipping burgers."

"Oh yes, the war is over, never mind that you've dedicated the past seven years to the fight, just go about your business." The sarcasm in her voice was pronounced. "Do you have any idea how hard it was for me? The rest of you went off and left me. So I tried to follow, to lead a 'normal' life. I couldn't have a boyfriend because I'd keep suspecting him of being a vampire, some sort of cyborg or a person under a love spell. I graduated from college and none of my friends came. Even that I could forgive, they had their lives, but the fact that you didn't come. The one person I wanted to be proud of me." Here she broke down, her body shaking with sobs.

"Shit." He came around the table to hold her. _Why does it seem like I'm always making her cry?_ He stroked her hair, seeming to draw more comfort from it than he was giving to her. "Buffy, I've never been more proud of you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. We forget how important it is to hear that from other people, but I am proud of you." He didn't want to hurt her anymore, but he knew that she needed to get everything out. That meant asking about why she had gone to the crater the night of the wedding. "Buffy I'm sorry, I have to ask..."

"No Giles, no more, I can't take it." She stood up and tried to leave.

He tightened his grip on her, "Buffy what happened, the night of the wedding?"

"No Giles, no," she backed away from him, her hands out in front of her.

"We need to do this now Buffy, you need to get it off your chest. Why did you go to the crater? You could've been more seriously injured. If I hadn't found you, if I hadn't been there you would've died!"

"I wanted to!" She hadn't meant to say that but she didn't realize how angry she was. She could see the hurt and shock on his face.

"Don't ever say that again." He came forward and took her arms. "How could you say that? You don't mean that!" Once again he saw the look of sadness, exhaustion and pain in her eyes. With that one look he knew that she did mean it. "Christ Buffy why?"

All the fight went out of her. The notes of sadness and disappointment were heavy in his voice. The one thing she had never wanted to do had happened. The one man she had never wanted to let down was looking at her like a child who had failed him in every respect. "I was so tired Giles, tired and alone. I just wanted to go back. Back to when things made sense. Do you know where I was the night before the final battle? What I was doing?"

"I imagine you were doing the same thing everyone else was with, well, with Spike." The idea of saying that name, of thinking about her with him, turned his stomach. "Perfectly understandable, I mean, we were all facing our death the next day. It's only natural that we seek out some form of comfort."

"No. That's not what happened."

"Then where were you?"

"Well, I was with him, just not _with _him. Spike and I, we just talked. All night, he held me. We talked until we fell asleep. I didn't have any nightmares that night. The day he saved the world I told him I loved him and I kissed him goodbye. And then he was gone." Her cries started fresh. "I just wanted to feel that again. To be comforted."

"Why didn't you come to me?" He hadn't realized that he'd started crying. Seeing his Slayer broken and crying was more than he could handle.

"You were gone, we weren't the same. Willow had Kennedy, Faith had Robin, even Xander has his completely non-demonic girlfriend. I just thought that since Dawn had Andrew that no one would mind. I just wanted to rest." She was sitting on the floor, her head on her knees.

Giles sat down next to her. "What would I have done?" He lifted her chin with his finger. "What would I have done without you?"

"You have other slayers." She sniffed and turned her head away.

"I don't mean as a slayer. Buffy," he turned her back around. "What would I do without my girl? Without my Buffy? You say you don't have anyone. Who do I have?"

"You've been gone for four years. Don't tell me you don't have someone back in England."

"I live in a tiny country house, spend all my time in a library. Every time a woman comes close to me I worry that she'll end up like Jenny, or Olivia. You're the only woman I've known that's managed to stand by me."

"You're my Watcher. I would've stuck by you no matter what."

"I haven't been your Watcher for some time." He brushed her hair back from her face and the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.

"Doesn't matter. No one's ever mattered as much to me as you have. I love you." The realization of what she just said made her blush.

"I know, I've been there for you Buffy, like a father," he wasn't going to acknowledge her declaration as anything else. He couldn't let himself consider the possibilities that lay down that path.

Her brain seemed to be working faster than ever before. "No. Not like a father."

"Buffy what are you talking about?" He couldn't trust his hands anymore and let them fall into his lap. He looked anywhere he could, avoiding her bright eyes.

"Have you ever just realized something? It was always there, but you never paid much attention to it? There were always more pressing issues, like surviving, but now," she gestured around her, "no more hellmouth, and I'm no longer the only Slayer." She moved closer to him to look in his eyes. "You're crying," she touched his cheek. "Haven't you ever wondered, why we are the way we are?"

"Buffy...I," her eyes sparkled with tears. She was so close he could feel her breath. He wanted to taste her lips more than he wanted to breath.

She put her finger to his lips and moved closer, "haven't you ever just wondered?" She replaced her finger with her lips. Her kiss was gentle, probing, tasting. She put one hand on his chest, just above his heart, which she could feel beating reassuringly. He moved his hand to cup her face, brushing aside her tears. He had never known such happiness was possible. He felt himself pulling her closer while she gripped at his shirt.

Just when they thought it everything was perfect there was the sound of a key in the door and Willow came in. "Hope you don't mind Buffy, I still have my key." Buffy jumped up and ran up the stairs. Giles stood hastily and began polishing his glasses. "Hey Giles. Ooo, breakfast, mind if I have some?"

"No, go ahead, Buffy should be back down in a minute." He kept watching the stairs. What would Willow say if she found out about what him and Buffy had just been doing?

A minute later Buffy came bouncing down the stairs looking happier than she had in years. "Hey Will. Giles it looks awesome, sorry it took me so long, I hope it's not cold." She smiled at him and he couldn't help but return her smile. He could barely see the girl who'd been crying in his arms in the happy woman laughing and chatting with her friend. He poured himself another cup of tea and joined them.

"So, do you want to go shopping this afternoon? I thought we could do some retail therapy, grab a bite, catch up, you know, the usual."

Buffy glanced at Giles, "um, sure. Giles, you don't mind if I leave you all alone for a little bit do you?"

"No, go ahead, you haven't seen her in a long time. How about we have dinner tonight?" Her eyes lit up, but he could see Willow look up expectantly, "of course if Xander and Willow aren't busy we could do it another night." Her face fell a little.

"Well, I'm free tonight, but I'd have to check with Xander."

"Oh, oh, okay, yeah, that's great. Dinner tonight. Come on Willow, I'll just grab my purse and we can go. Um, so I'll see you later Giles?"

"I'll be here." He watched them leave then gathered up the dishes. What was he going to do?


	10. Chapter 10

Several hours later, well-laden down with shopping bags Buffy and Willow stopped for a coffee. "Gosh, I think I'm a little out of practice. Maybe I'll head home and help Giles get ready."

"Sure, no problem. Do you want me to invite Faith?"

"Um, I guess."

"Can I ask you a question Buffy?"

"Sure." She picked absentmindedly at her bagel.

"Is everything okay with you and Giles? Things have been kind of weird lately between you, sort of tense, but this morning it was like the past seven years hadn't happened."

"Everything's great, better than it's been in a long time. We've been spending a lot of time talking and things have gotten a lot better."

"I'm really glad Buffy. Well, I'll let you get back to him, I'm sure you still have all sorts of watchery/slayery stuff to talk about. I'll see you later."

"Later Will." Buffy watched her friend leave. She was the happiest she'd been in a long time. She just wanted to go back to Giles and finish what they had started that morning. Leaving her coffee on the table she gathered up her bags and went home. "Giles? I'm back. I'm just gonna go up and change then I'll be down to help you get ready for dinner." She had gotten a cute new outfit that she thought he'd like.

Giles came out of the kitchen when he heard her voice, "Buffy?" She was already upstairs changing.

She changed into one of her new outfits and came back down. She twirled for a moment in the kitchen, "what do you think of my new outfit." The tight tweed dress hugged her curves dangerously, stopping just above her knees. She had finished with a pair of vertiginous open-toed slingbacks.

He looked her up and down, "it's very nice." Really it was more than nice, but he wasn't about to admit to her that all he could think about was taking her up to his room and doing things to her that until this morning he had never allowed himself to think about.

"Did you see? Tweed, your favorite. And look," she put on a pair of reading glasses, "now I totally look the part of the sexy librarian."

"Quite," he took his glasses off and began polishing them with his handkerchief, "Listen Buffy, I think we should think about what happened this morning."

"Okay." She should've known he was going to do this.

"Okay? You're not going to fight me on this?"

"Why? Come on," she grabbed a soda from the fridge, "let's go into the living room."

He followed through to the living room. "You said something this morning."

Suddenly she was nervous, "a lot of things were said this morning. A lot of things were done this morning," she smiled at him mischievously.

"Hmm, yes, about that," he started polishing his glasses again, a nervous-habit she was finding quite endearing. "I know that you were just dealing with your sadness and trying to make me feel better."

She pulled back, she had thought that her feelings had been made perfectly clear. "No Giles, I wasn't. I was telling you the truth."

"Buffy now be serious, you can't possibly love me. I'm old enough to be your father."

"I heard you this morning Giles, you called me your girl. I felt you how you touched me, how you looked at me." She could feel her fear rising up in her, _oh God, what if she'd made a horrible mistake?_

"Buffy, my feelings aside, you'd be ruining your life. You are young, and beautiful, and vivacious, you deserve a chance to have an exciting life. Can't you see what a mess I'd make of things?"

"What I see is a man who knows me as Buffy, the woman, not the Slayer. Someone who's stuck by me and loved me no matter how stupid I've been."

"That will always be true but I'm sure there's someone else out there who will look on you that way. I will not force you to be part of a relationship that you only turned to as a way to escape sadness."

He was still polishing his glasses only now she was finding that to be perfectly infuriating. She grabbed them from his hands and put them on the table. "Damn it Giles, why are you telling me this?"

"Buffy," she was so beautiful when she was angry, it was all he could do to keep from kissing her right then, "I don't mean to make you angry, I just want you to know..."

"Giles, just tell me, tell me now. Do you love me? Don't think about how it affects me, only think of how you feel. If you don't love me as any more than a daughter tell me now and we'll never speak of this again. I'll let you go back to England and I'll go back to Chicago, and we'll do our best to move on with our pathetically lonely lives." She had started crying again, not in anger or sadness but frustration.

"Buffy, I," _shit, she's crying again. Why can't I just tell her the truth?_

He was stopped from answering right away by Buffy pressing her lips to his. "Tell me you don't love me," she kissed him again. "Tell me you don't need me." She was kissing him all over his face, "tell me now you think we're not perfect for each other. Tell me you don't love me as I love you."

"Oh, fuck it," any objections he might have had were forgotten. He pressed her back on the sofa and kissed her passionately. "My darling, darling girl," he kissed her cheeks and her lips, tasting her tears. "I love you, I need you." He kissed her passionately until he had to come up for air. She smiled at him, her lips bruised and swollen from his kisses. Reality was beginning to return as he looked at her, "Buffy..."

"If you even try to tell me that didn't mean anything so help me I'll..."

He held up his hands, "no, no, but I do have something to tell you."

She pushed herself back up and looked at him expectantly, she could tell it was something important so she took him seriously. "What is it?"

"Well, I know that we have things to work out, but," he was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. "Christ, can't we ever have a moment's peace?"

She laughed, "answer the door, I'm going to change. I imagine I look a bit," she paused, thinking of the perfect British word, "disheveled." She stood and positively bounced from the room and up the stairs. _I can't believe he loves me. I can't believe I love him. I haven't been this happy in years._

He went to the door and opened it, smiling at Willow and Xander. "Come in, dinner will be ready in a bit." He felt like he was grinning foolishly and wondered if they could tell what a burden had been lifted from him.

"Excellent, we brought you this," Xander held up a bottle of wine. "So where's the Buffster?"

"The Buffster, is upstairs, changing again."

"Women always with the outfit changing. I'm not sure I've ever seen Kristin in the same outfit more than once."

"Maybe she's some sort of shape-changing demon. Have you seen her closet? Maybe she doesn't have any clothes at all?" Buffy came down the stairs in a pair of jeans and a v-neck sweater that just showed the swell of her cleavage above the collar.

"What? She's...no, stop it. She's a girl. A normal girl. No demon, no shape-shifting, a girl."

"Relax Xander, I was just joking," Buffy gave him a hug. "Hey Will."

"Hey Buff, long time no see," she laughed at her joke.

"Well, I'll just go and check on dinner," Giles left the room with the bottle of the wine. He couldn't help but feel that if he stayed so close to Buffy he wouldn't be able to stop from taking her in his arms. He was happy to be with her but he didn't know what Willow and Xander would say and he didn't want them to know until Buffy agreed that it was the right time.

Willow stared after him, wondering at the strange look on his face. Things sure had been different since Dawn's wedding. Everyone seemed happier. The more she thought about it the more it made sense. Buffy was happy again, so of course everyone else was happy. "What are you thinking 'bout Will? You look so serious."

"Just thinking. You look even happier than you did earlier today."

"Well, I feel happy. This is the new and improved happy Buffy."

"So what's happied up the Buffy?"

Buffy looked toward the kitchen, Xander was too oblivious to notice, but Willow saw it. "Oh, you know, things are just finally looking up." There was knock on the door. "I'll get it." She went to open the door. "Hey Faith."

"Hey Buff, how ya' doin'?"

"Good, how are you?"

"Oh, you know me, five by five. Hope you don't mind," she held up a six-pack of beer, "I'm not much of wine drinker."

"No it's fine, you can put it in the kitchen. No Robin tonight?"

"Nope, just the original gang. Giles in there?"

"Yep, he's in domestic mode. Don't interrupt the cooking, 'cause I can't fix anything."

"Cool," Faith made her way into the kitchen.

"Dinner's ready, let's all sit down." Giles put the food on the table and sat at the head. Buffy sat across from him and the others between them. Everyone offered their compliments to Giles for the food, although Buffy stayed quiet. She was a bit embarrassed to look up at Giles, it felt like they had some great secret from the rest of their friends. When everyone except for Xander had finished eating they lapsed into scattered conversation.

"So Giles I hope you're planning on staying here for a while; I could get used to this type of food." Xander pushed his chair back from the table and patted his distended belly.

"Actually, it's funny that you mention it," he had tried to tell Buffy earlier but they were interrupted. She was looking at him across the table, a question in her eyes. He cleared his throat, "I have a ticket for Friday night."

"Friday?" Everyone was astounded. Xander had stopped chewing his food and his mouth hung open.

"Close your mouth Xander, that's exceedingly unattractive." He looked across the table at Buffy, but she was inscrutable as she looked at her plate. "I, um hadn't planned on staying this long, my ticket was originally for the morning after the wedding but I changed it this morning."

Willow looked at him sadly, "but that's only two days away! Will you promise to visit more? I mean it feels like we just got the gang back together."

"Um, well I was planning on coming back as often as possible." _Why isn't she looking at me?_

Everyone began speaking at the same time, asking him what he was going to do. Telling them they were going to miss him. Silence fell when Buffy stood up, "I'm...just, I'll be..." she couldn't make a coherent sentence. Giving up she tossed her napkin on the table and fled from the room.

Willow and Xander looked at each other, wondering what exactly was going on. Faith just sat and silently smirked at her plate. "Will you please excuse me for a moment?" Giles stood and wiped his mouth on his napkin before leaving the table. He walked calmly after Buffy even though every fiber of his being was telling him to run after her. He knew it was a mistake to tell them, to tell her like that, but it was against his nature not to be direct about it.

Buffy was sitting on her bed in her room. She had left her door open because she knew he would follow her. She heard him as he stood in the doorway. "Do you know what I was thinking at Dawn's wedding?" He sat on the bed next to her and shook his head. "I saw how happy she was and all I could think about was how I would never have that." He tried to take her hand but she pulled it away. "I gave up on the whole happily ever after, two kids and a dog, white picket fence, a long time ago. I'm not normal, I've never had a normal life. I just thought, maybe for one moment things were going to work out." She put her head in her hands.

"I tried to tell you earlier, but, well we got interrupted." He clenched his hands on his knees.

"I know," she said it quietly, calmly.

"Buffy, I'm not leaving you."

"Sure doesn't feel that way." She sniffed.

"No, I'm not. I'm going back to England, to put things in order, then I'll come back, we can have a home here. Then we'll see what happens. Buffy I love you. After everything we've been through today, I'm not going to give you up." He put his arm around her, drawing her close.

"No Giles." She heard his declaration but realized that she couldn't be selfish this time.

_Shit oh shit I've mucked everything up._ "Buffy, what do you mean?"

"I've figured a lot of things out this week. I haven't felt this happy in forever. Maybe we need a chance to figure some stuff out."

"How long?" He couldn't help but think she was using this as an excuse to push him away.

"A month, maybe two," she was giving him an out, just in case.

"And then?" He tightened his grip convulsively.

"And then we'll see." She rested her head on his shoulder. "One thing I know is that I don't want to make my home here."

He could understand that. "Buffy, I don't want this to be the end."

"Then it won't be." She wished she was as certain as she felt.


	11. Chapter 11

Back in the dining room Xander swallowed his mouthful of food and looked at Willow with his eyes wide. "What was that all about?"

"Well, Buffy must be really upset that Giles is leaving. I think they finally managed to patch things up. I haven't seen Buffy this happy in years."

"Oh come on, you two can't really be that dense!" Faith stood and went to the fridge to grab another beer. "She's upset because he's leaving her and she loves him."

"You mean as a father."

"No I mean as a man. I mean a sweaty, heaving, moaning, sort of love."

"Buffy and Giles? With the...smoochies?" 

"I thought you were the brains of the operation Will. Let me lay it out for you. Last night, at the club, she punched that guy for calling Giles old. And she nearly emasculated the bouncer when he didn't let him in."

"She's right, I've never seen Giles try to start a fight before. And that guy was trying to get all frisky with Buffy."

"I'm sorry, but we're talking about Buffy, and...and Giles." Xander was finding it impossible to believe what Faith was saying.

"Haven't you seen the way they've been looking at each other lately? Although I gotta say I didn't think Giles would pass up an opportunity to get with her. Last night I swear he was about to jump her over the table."

"But...but it's Giles...and...and...Buffy." Xander looked like he was going to be sick.

"If Buffy and Giles were in a relationship, she'd tell us wouldn't she?" Willow looked from Faith to Xander.

"Hey all I know is what I see. If it makes Buffy happy I'm all for it. Frankly I'm tired of depressed Buffy. I'd much rather have happy and sexually satisfied Buffy and I bet Ripper knows all sorts of ways to sexually satisfy a girl." She winked at Xander, who still hadn't managed to shut his mouth all the way. "Speaking of which, Robin said he'd wait up for me, do you think they'd mind if I took some of the food for leftovers?"

Willow shook her head, her brow creased in thought. She was thinking back over the last couple of days and years. How could she be so blind? Everything they had done had shown how they felt about each other. Buffy certainly had been in better spirits lately. She thought about their interactions over the entire time she had known them. For years theirs had been a relationship of impartiality, but a shift had come. Willow could remember thinking that Giles had been jealous of Buffy when she started dating Riley in college. When Buffy had died, after they defeated Glory, she remembered thinking that Giles wasn't going to make it. Of course at the time she had worried more about Spike, who had repeatedly admitted his feelings for Buffy. Only in retrospect did she realize how much Giles had been hurting.

"You don't think it's true? I mean, he's old and she's, well she's Buffy." Xander looked at her, a sad hope in his eyes.

"I think Faith might be right. Just think about it."

"I'd rather not." He absentmindedly pushed the food around on his plate. "What'll we do?"

"Well," she thought very carefully about what to say. "They're our friends. If they're happy then we should let them be."

"Okay," he wasn't sure if he was okay, but he'd follow Willow's lead.

"Excellent. I suggest keepin' cool when they come down." Faith opened the door, "if they come down." With a final lascivious wink Faith shut the door with her foot, her hands full of leftovers.

Giles released his grip from Buffy. He was nervous, but he wasn't going to bother her about it. It had taken them a long time to get to this point and he didn't want to ruin anything. "I suppose at least one of us should go back down to rest of them." When Buffy didn't move he stood up. "Guess I will." He moved to the door.

"Giles?" Buffy stood and came to him.

"Hmm?"

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'll be down in a minute." She kissed him; a kiss full of promise and hope.

"Well," he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, "I suppose we could stay here."

"You can if you want, but I'm going down." She disentangled herself from his arms and smiled coyly at him as she went down the stairs. If he was going to leave she wasn't going to make it easier for him.

He polished he glasses as he followed after her. He wondered what the others would think. What would they say? It suddenly occurred to him that there was a large chance that most people wouldn't be as happy about their relationship as they were. He could hear Xander downstairs, although is words were indistinct.

"Hey Buff, you okay?"

"Just fine Xander, just fine." Buffy took her seat at the table. "Faith leave?"

"She seemed to have the crazy idea that you and Giles weren't comin' back down anytime soon. I mean, that's crazy, what would you be doing that you wouldn't come back down?" Buffy cocked her eyebrow at him and he blushed as he realized what they could've been doing.

"I think what Xander is trying to work his mind around is, what's going on between you and Giles?" Willow studied her plate, too embarrassed to look at Buffy.

Buffy was enjoying it and wasn't going to give them any easy answers. "What do you mean Willow, Giles is my Watcher." 

Xander couldn't take it. "Faith implied, and we want to know if you and the G-Man are...are doin' the humpty hump."

Giles stopped on the stairs after hearing Xander's "colloquialism". He looked at Buffy and it looked like she was about to burst out laughing. She could say just about everything with her eyes and now it looked like she was enjoying how uncomfortable everyone was. "I'm sorry are we what?"

"You know, knockin' boots, horizontal mambo, bouncin' the bedsprings..."

"Yes I think we get it. Thank you Xander." Giles rejoined them in the kitchen.

Buffy really did laugh out loud now looking at the expression on Giles' face. She would save him from this embarrassing situation. "Giles and I, well, we're undefined at the moment."

"Oh, oh okay." Willow looked up and smiled. "So you're going back to England tomorrow?"

Giles saw the shadow fall over Buffy's face. "Yes I'm afraid so."

"Well, we should make a night of it then. I mean if it's going to be another three years until we see you again, we should send you out with a bang."

Willow looked from Buffy to Giles and back again. "Xander, he probably has to pack and stuff. We shouldn't keep him tonight."

"But his flight isn't until the day after tomorrow, there's plenty of time for him to pack tomorrow. We should go out to a bar, or wait to a pub. Drink some warm beer, it'll be great."

Willow wanted to punch him, "Xander," she couldn't believe how dense he could be, "didn't you say earlier you had plans with Kristin?"

"No, I don't," he looked confusedly from Willow to Buffy to Giles and back to Willow. Suddenly it seemed to dawn on him. "Ohhhh, right, plans with Kristin. Yes, I should get going. You know for the plans." He stood up. "So I guess this is goodbye." He held out his hand.

"I promise I'll come and visit more often. Perhaps we could all have lunch before I leave." Giles shook it, sorry that he was leaving his family yet again.

"Yeah, sure thing G-Man." Xander shook his hand.

"I'll miss you Giles." Willow hugged him. 

"I'll see you tomorrow too. And I promise I'll try and use that infernal contraption to write to you."

"It's called a computer Giles, and thanks. We'll see you tomorrow Buffy," Willow took Xander by the arm and started leading him from the room. She didn't let go of him until they were on the porch.

"What was that about?" He shook himself from her grasp.

"I just thought that they might want to be alone together for his last night here."

"But they said," Xander stood with his mouth hanging open like a codfish.

"I heard what they said. So they haven't, but that doesn't mean they won't," Willow added with a knowing smile. 


	12. Chapter 12

Giles and Buffy stared at each other, across the table and before either of them could say anything they both burst out laughing. Buffy was laughing so hard tears were running down her face. Even Giles, who was normally so reserved had to lean against the doorjamb and catch his breath.

"And you were worried about how to tell them."

"Well, it seems we weren't as good at hiding our feelings for each other as we thought," he wiped his eyes and tried to get serious. "So, what are we going to do now?"

"You mean now that we're alone and we only have one more day and two more nights together before you leave for England?" She knew his mind was traveling to previously uncharted territory as he nodded his head. She couldn't help but follow, but she was nervous, it had been a long time since she had been with anyone and she didn't want to ruin what her and Giles had with nervous, awkward fumbling. Plus it was another opportunity to tease him. "Um, patrol?"

He was taken by surprise at this suggestion. He flattered himself that she would want him all to herself instead of sharing her time with vampires. "Are you sure you want to do that tonight?"

"Sure, let me just go change and we can do a short patrol then come back for a movie or something." She could see the disappointment on his face, but she tried to ignore it as she went upstairs.

_Change? Again? Why is that women have a completely separate outfit for every event?_ He busied himself by putting the dishes in the dishwasher. He almost wished they had never kissed, because now it was all he could think of. He went to the stairs, "aren't you ready yet?" He couldn't help it if he sounded frustrated.

She came slowly down the stairs and Giles realized she had chosen the outfit she had on specifically to torment him. Her traditional black boots were over a pair of tight black jeans and she was wearing a white tank top over a black sportsbra. She had put her hair back in a ponytail and the only jewelry she wore was a silver cross. "What? The sun hasn't even set yet," she pouted for a moment but noticing his apparent distraction at her outfit she smiled. She kissed him softly, tantalizingly gentle then took his hand, "Come on let's go."

An hour later they hadn't meant a single vampire and Giles was getting tired of walking behind her, being teased by her swaying hips encased in the tight denim fabric. He knew that she was incredibly hard to distract, but he was ready to try. "Buffy? I think perhaps we could home now. The vampires don't appear to be biting."

"I just want to get one, then we can go. You got some where better to be?"

He pulled her to him and kissed her, "well I can think I of something else I'd rather be doing."

She kissed him for another moment before pulling away. "Don't distract me. Didn't you always warn me against distractions?"

"Did you ever listen?" She winked at him then continued on.

She stopped behind a large monument and peered over it carefully. "I think with Faith and Robin here most of them are keeping a low profile."

He came up behind her and began kissing her neck, holding her hair out of the way. "We could be focusing on more...pleasurable activities."

Buffy felt her knees go weak as he continued to kiss her up and down her neck, stopping to gently nibble her shoulder. She tasted divine. Buffy was quickly losing the battle to remain focused as he wrapped his arms around her, lightly brushing his hands over her nipples. She couldn't help it, a small moan escaped her lips as she turned to face him and wrapped her arms around him.

He kissed her on the lips, softly, teasingly but as she pulled him closer his kisses became more insistent. He pressed her against the cool stone and Buffy felt the stake she'd been holding drop to the ground. His hands began to roam over her curves, sliding under her tank top and up to her bra. Buffy moaned obscenely as he thrust his hardened member against the dampening crotch of her jeans. In a moment she was going to have to have him, cemetery or no.

Giles couldn't remember the last time he had felt such fire in his veins. All he could sense was Buffy; her fragrance, her taste. He felt her nails clawing at his back through the softness of his sweater. He wanted her so much all he could see was stars. He could feel her pushing him away but it just made him want her more. Then he felt her withdraw the stake that he had put in his back pocket. "Giles," it came out as more of a moan.

God he loved the sound of his name as it rolled off her tongue, he wanted to make her say it more. "Buffy," his voice was a hoarse whisper.

Buffy had gotten distracted from his eager caresses, which was saying something because she hadn't felt anything so wonderful in all her life, by the danger that emerged from the trees. Approaching them silently were three vampires. She felt for the stake in his pocket and withdrew it. Finally he ceased his ministrations on her neck but didn't move. "Vampires?"

"Yep." His breath was tickling the hairs on her neck making it nearly impossible for her to concentrate.

"How many?"

"More than the one I wanted. When I count to three," the vampires were so close to them she could see their dilated pupils in their yellow eyes. "One, two, three!"

Giles spun away and Buffy wasted no time in punching the nearest vamp and staking him cleanly. Giles drew the attention of the second vampire and Buffy went after the third. Adrenaline was pumping in her veins and she was so annoyed that she quickly finished the second vampire before throwing the stake and taking the third out.

Giles removed his glasses and polished them with his shirtsleeve. "No witty repartee?"

"Giles." Buffy was sweating and panting.

"You sure took them in hurry." He was trying to ignore her chest as it heaved up and down.

"Giles." She hadn't been this turned on in years.

"I was used to your scathing fashion critiques as you staked." He knew that he was being frustrating.

"GILES!!"

"Hmmm?"

"Remember what Faith said about slaying?" Actually he did remember and his eyes grew wide, he knew that their relationship was about to change irrevocably. Buffy waited until understanding dawned in his eyes then took his hand, "Home. Now." They ran through the cemetery and didn't stop until they reached the house.

Once inside the house Buffy pushed him against the wall and kissed him fervently. Momentarily stunned by his impact on the wall Giles let her take the lead. After a moment though he wanted more. He lifted her up and she wrapped his legs around him. This time he crashed her against the wall while he feasted on her plump, juicy lips. Letting her rest against the wall he pulled her tank top off and reaching for her bra. She was clawing at his head and kissing him all over his face. Her skin felt like it was on fire under his touch and she couldn't help but moan as his kisses trailed their way across her neck and chest.

Buffy clawed at his back, trying to pull his sweater off. All she could think of was an overwhelming need to feel his skin against hers. As soon as she had it off it was discarded haphazardly behind her on the floor. She bit his shoulder, marking him, giggling slightly as he growled against her. She was trying to figure out how to get his pants off, and hers for that matter, since he had her pressed against the wall. He must have sensed something because he all of a sudden he groaned and put her down. Before she had time to miss him he had taken his pants off and divested Buffy of hers. She didn't even have a chance to feel embarrassed about being naked in front of him for the first time before he had lifted her up again and pressed her into the wall again.

He returned his mouth to her, he blazed a trail down her neck to her collarbone. He smiled at her wickedly then captured one of her nipples with his mouth. She moaned and was glad for his hands that held her so firmly to him. They didn't care that they were naked in her livingroom, all they cared about was the pleasure they could bring to each other. Unable to withstand the temptation of her hot, moist center he pulled her underwear to the side and slid his hard as steel erection into her.

Buffy cried out, and for a moment he thought he'd hurt her, but soon she moaned and began to move against him. Giles felt a deep throaty growl building in him as he thrust into her, pressing her against the wall. In the back of his mind he knew that if she wasn't a slayer that he wouldn't be able to have her like this, but that just made him love and want her more. "Buffy, oh, Buffy!"

Her name on his lips was all it took for her to fall into a mind shattering orgasm. Her body shook and trembled in his arms. She had been reduced to a blubbering, mass and all she seemed able to do was whisper his name over and over again. Pleased with himself he allowed himself to let go and spilled his seed into her. He rested his forehead against hers while he waited for his breathing to return to normal. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off his legs were protesting and he didn't think he'd be able to hold her up any longer. Slowly he lowered her to the floor before reclining on the stairs. Buffy joined him, resting her head on his chest and listening to his heartbeat slow. Nothing had ever felt more right to her.

"Buffy...I..."

"I know, that...that was..."

"Yes it was."

Buffy laughed softly. In her mind she knew he would be polishing his glasses if he had them. She traced her fingers up and down his chest. She purred as he stroked her hair back from her face. He couldn't believe that they were laying together nearly naked. Buffy tilted her face up to his and he kissed her lips. She smiled at him and for a minute he wondered why but then he followed her gaze down and blushed when he realized that he was becoming aroused again.

"Already?" She reached down and traced his lengthening member with her fingers.

"Yes, well," he gasped as she blew on it. "You're not exactly helping things." She smiled wickedly and began to kiss her way down his chest. He reached for her and pulled her back up to look at him. "Are you trying to kill me?" She kissed him, pushing his tongue into his mouth. He pulled her to him, grunting when she put a leg over him and straddled him.

What was left of his rational brain convinced Giles to slow down. As much as he wanted her he was finding it hard to ignore the pressure of the stairs in his back. Groaning he pulled away from her delectable flesh and began carrying her up the stairs. Her room was closest and he came in and threw her on the bed. Their eyes connected, their gaze filled with passion and longing. Buffy pulled him to the bed and began to run her fingers over his muscular chest and through the fine hair that covered it. She kissed his collarbone, his neck, then tasted his lips.

"Giles," her voice came out a cross between a moan and whisper.

"Yes love?" He tangled his fingers in her hair.

"Please..." she couldn't finish her sentence, but that was okay, he knew what she meant. For a moment, as he gazed at her on the bed he forgot about everything. She blushed as she felt his gaze bore into her. "What?"

She was nude except for an amazingly small pair of black lace underwear. "You are so beautiful."

In response she held out her hand and he took it, joining her on the bed. His weight on her felt right and she wrapped her legs around him to pull him closer. His hands were strong but soft, marked only by a few calluses from training. It had been years since either of them had been with someone and their desire was beginning to overwhelm them. He slid out of his shorts and ripped her panties from her.

Buffy giggled, "I liked that pair."

Giles growled, "I'll buy you another." He slid up between her legs until his manhood was resting against her hot, moist center. He hesitated staring deep into her eyes. Buffy knew that he was giving her a chance to change her mind. Her only response was to wrap her legs around him and pulled him to her. Intoxicated by her tightness he needed every ounce of control to keep from losing everything. Her moans became louder, more frequent as he pushed deeper into her. The feeling of being locked in her velvet vise was transcendent.

Soon with a final thrust he came in her and collapsed in a sweating, quivering pile on top of her. He kissed her lightly on each eyelid and then rolled off of her, pulling her tightly against him. Buffy rested her head on his chest, listening to the soothing sound of his heartbeat.

"This is nice."

"Hmmm?" Giles ran his fingers through her hair.

"I like listening to your heartbeat. And you're warm, I don't even need the blanket." For a moment Buffy let her mind wander over the other men she'd been with. Spike had been the last, and there was no soothing heartbeat, no warm glow. She pulled Giles closer. For modesty's sake Giles reached down and covered them both with the blanket. He knew what she was talking about and couldn't help but wonder what she thought. How did he compare to GI Joe and the undead? He felt her clutch him tighter and kissed the top of her head. "This is better," she snuggled into him missing the smile that creased his face.

Buffy rolled over and he followed, molding his chest to her back. He kissed her shoulder then began stroking her arm. He moved his hand down to her stomach. She moved her hips against him, arching her back. Despite having just finished he was already becoming aroused again. He moved his hands up to her breasts. Soon he was working in her again, until each of them was brought to a shuddering climax. As soon as they were done Buffy drew his arms around her tighter and snuggled into the pillow. She kissed his hand before beginning to doze off. "I love you Giles," she sighed and closed her eyes. Giles was surprised by her sleepy declaration but he felt so incredibly moved and happy about it that he allowed himself a satisfied smile before dropping off to sleep as well.


	13. Chapter 13

In the morning Buffy awoke to his erection pressing between her cheeks. She rolled over and smiled at him as he slept. She examined every feature of his face, reaching out to caress him. He pretended to be asleep but he couldn't help the smile that stretched across his face. She laughed softly and kissed him, "Good morning sleepyhead."

"Good morning. Sleep well?"

She stretched and her breasts rose above the sheet. "Mmmm, yes. You?"

"Excellent," he bent his head down and captured her nipple between his lips. He delighted in her squeals as he sucked it and nibbled on it. He reached out with his other hand to roll the hardened nipple between his fingers. He traced his hand down her body until he reached her opening. He worked one finger in her, smiling wickedly as she moaned and her body jerked.

She pushed him away playfully and laughed as he fell off her bed. She peered over the edge laughing as he rubbed his head. Smiling he reached up to her and began pulling on her arm. "No, no, Giles stop!" He pulled her from the bed and she landed on top of him, playfully slapping him. She tried to stand up but he pulled her to him, capturing her legs with his then pushing into her. She was not entirely ready for him and cried out but any feelings of pain were soon replaced with the pleasure that only screwing could bring. He watched her face as he thrust into her, pushing her to the brink then drawing back then taking her there again. Finally he let her fall over the edge, following right behind.

They laid together on the floor, enjoying the afterglow, neither of them saying anything. "We are so getting a bigger bed," Giles rubbed his head. Buffy giggled and stretched and began moving toward the edge of the bed. "Where do you think you're going?" Giles pulled her back toward him, nuzzling her neck as he did.

She giggled, "I'm hungry."

He smiled devilishly at her, "I've got something you could eat."

Buffy could see Ripper in his lascivious voice and caresses. Well two could play at that game, she gave him a quick nibble on the stomach, "maybe later," his eyes widened, "besides, I imagine you need some tasties of the non-Slayer variety too. She stood up and pulled him up next to her. She pulled on her robe, not bothering to put anything else on. "There's a bowl of Count Chocula with my name on it downstairs."

He watched her leave the room and wished just for a moment that they had stayed at his hotel. _At least then we could've ordered room service_. He went into his room and pulled some clothes on. Making sure they were things easily removed since he had no intention of letting Buffy leave the house. Downstairs he watched her as she bounced around the kitchen humming and fixing her breakfast. He saw so much of the girl he knew in her. He was happy to know that she was still young despite how much the Hellmouth had taken from her.

They ate together in a companionable silence, him reading the newspaper, and not looking for any signs of a demonic disturbance, while she flipped through the pages of last month's Vogue. Finished with her cereal and tea she studied him from across the table.

"Buffy I know I'm the perfect example of maleness but surely you have something better to do than stare at me?"

"Wow, conceited much?" She smiled at him, but he kept his eyes on the paper. "I was just wondering what we were going to do today."

Without removing his eyes from the paper he deadpanned, "well, in a moment I intend to take you upstairs, remove that ridiculous robe and ravish you." Her eyes grew to the size of saucers. "And after I'm finished, and you've had just about as much as you can stand, I'm going to do it again." When she still didn't say anything he finally looked up from his paper to meet her eyes. He was surprised to see her blue eyes staring back at him, smoldering with desire. "Or I suppose we could get dressed and go see a movie. What do you think?" She didn't answer. "Buffy?"

"Oh, um...the first one I think." She blushed.

_Maybe she isn't ready for Ripper. _"Come here Buffy," she stood and went to him. He grabbed her by the collar on her robe and pulled her onto his lap. "We don't have to Buffy. We could do what ever you want, even go shopping."

She smiled mischieviously, "okay then, I vote we go...shopping!" She laughed and jumped off him, running up the stairs.

Having no intention of letting her escape he followed right behind, stopping her when she tried to go into her room. "No Buffy, we're going to do this in a bed we both fit in." He led her into his room and shut the door. He approached her as she back away from him; she had to stop when she bumped into the bed. He cupped her face in his hands and brought his lips to hers so gently that she was left aching for more. He smiled as she wavered on her feet, her eyes closed and mouth slightly open. Kissing her over and over again he drew her to him, taking time to pay attention to her neck and collar bone. He let his hands drop to her waist, encircling it. He tugged on the cord around her waist and her robe fell open. He slid his hands inside and heard her gasp.

Buffy had never felt anything like it before. His hands seemed to dance over her skin, teasing, tempting. She leaned into him wanting more and whimpering in protest when he refused to give it to her. He hadn't even touched her most intimate areas and she thought she was ready to orgasm.

Giles pushed her back onto the bed. Their previous couplings had been passionate and wonderful, but fast. He wanted to take his time, explore her body and find out what she liked. He peeled back the robe and admired her body, never ceasing to stroke her body. He breathed on her body, fanning the flames of passion that burned in her body. She had started moaning, "Giles, Giles. Please..."

"Is there something you need Buffy?"

"Please, you...I just need...you..." she said that last word with a strangled gasp as he picked that moment to drive her over the edge. He didn't give her time to come down from her orgasmic high before plunging into her. He took his time, pulling almost all the way out before slowly pushing back in. He enjoyed watching her body quake as he continued to take his time. Finally he felt his orgasm coming. He moved her legs, changing the angle of his penetration. He touched his finger to her button and she cried out. Her muscles gripped him as they convulsed in orgasm. She cried out and he joined her voice to his, pumping a fresh load into her. He collapsed on top of her, smiling and proud of himself.

Buffy thought she might have passed out for a moment. No one had ever given her such pleasure. When she opened her eyes the first thing she saw was Giles looking down on her with a smirk on his face. "Don't look so proud of yourself mister."

He kissed her, "I think I've got a good reason to be proud of myself."

"Well, just you wait mister, I'll show you good time. Just as soon as I gain control of my body again." She gave up trying to push herself up and flopped back down on the bed laughing. He joined her in her laughter and they didn't stop until tears were forming in their eyes and their sides hurt. Buffy put her head on his chest to listen to his heart. "That never gets old Giles, the sound of your heart." He stroked her back, trying not to think of what she meant. "Giles?"

"Hmmm?'

"Should I call you Rupert now?"

He hadn't thought about it, but he supposed it was strange that his new lover called him by his last name. "Well it is my first name, but you can call me whatever you wish."

"Oooh, okay Studdly Muffikins."

"Let me rephrase that. You can call me Rupert or Giles, the choice is yours."

"What about Ripper?"

He gently bit her fingers before he twined his fingers in hers, "only on special occasions."

"Giles?"

"Yes love?" He had wanted to call her that forever. "Tell me about your home?"

"My home?"

"Tell me about England." She was feeling drowsy, but she wanted to know everything about him.

"Ah," he stroked her shoulder. "Well, it's very green. Not like here, dry and brown, but green and alive. My house is in the country, down a little lane that's almost obscured by honeysuckle and wild roses. It's not very big, only two bedrooms, but it has a wonderful garden, full of flowers in the summer and there's plenty of room for training. Ivey grows up the front of it making the house look like it's a live. When you sit in the backyard you can hear birds singing and the stream that goes past it."

"It sounds beautiful."

"It is, but it's lonely. It's meant to be shared with someone." He wanted to ask her to come back with him so much. Instead he just contented himself with kissing her on the forehead and letting her drift off to sleep.

Willow and Xander climbed the stairs. "Do you think we could get him to take us to that new restaurant in town?"

"Don't you think about anything other than food? Besides, they might not want to go."

"Who wouldn't want to go to lunch with us?"

Willow peaked through the curtains and saw Buffy's discarded bra on the floor and Giles' sweater. "Um, maybe we should come back later."

"Why? What's up?"

"Nothing, I just think that maybe they might be in the middle of something." She could feel herself blushing when she considered what exactly they might be doing.

Xander didn't understand, as usual. "Do you think they aren't home."

"No, no they're definitely home. I think they're just...well, indisposed." She waited for the light to come in his hand, then pulled him away. "Come on, let's go get a coffee."

"Ewwww," he let himself be led away. "I can't believe Buffy and Giles and all the..." he shuddered.


	14. Chapter 14

The knock on the door woke them both up. Buffy pulled the sheet up to her chest as she sat up. "Is someone at the door?"

"Does it matter?" Giles put kisses along her shoulder and up her neck. "It's my last day here, I don't want to share you with anyone. Can't I be selfish for once?" She purred. "Come on, I could go for a spot of tea, and no doubt you're hungry."

"Do we get to go out?"

"Well I was hoping to keep your all to myself, but if you really want to..."

"No, we can stay here. I want to soak up as much of you as I can before you leave."

They went downstairs and Buffy made the tea while Giles made lunch. Afterward they spent the rest of the day lounging on the sofa, their legs entwined. Buffy asked him more questions about his home, her family, sometimes stroking his leg or the tops of his feet. Neither of them wanted to talk to about his impending departure so instead they talked about everything else. Buffy learned more about her Watcher in that one day then she had in her entire life.

That night they both crawled under the blankets together. Buffy closed her eyes and tried to sleep. All she could think about was how the next time she fell asleep it would be alone. She turned away from him as she began to feel her tears leak from her eyes. She couldn't suppress the small sob.

"Buffy?" She didn't answer. He reached for her and gently turned her back to him. "What's wrong dearest?"

"Oh Giles, I don't want you to go!" She pressed her face to his chest, dampening it with her tears.

"My darling, darling girl." He lifted her face to his and kissed away her tears. She clutched him to her and returned his kisses. Soon he moved on top of her and gently slid into her. For the first time they made sweet, slow love. Neither of them spoke, but they stared at each other, speaking volumes with their eyes. When they were finished he pulled her to him and they fell asleep in each other's arms.

In the morning Buffy woke up and instantly realized that he would be leaving in a few hours time. She lifted his arm and from her and began to slide away from him. He moved and reached out for her, taking her hand, "where are you going?"

"I have to take a shower." Buffy gently pried his fingers from her wrist.

He sat up and tried to draw her back to him, "Don't be in such a hurry. Don't you want to do something to make that shower really necessary?"

"We don't have time Giles."

"Come on, we have hours before I have to pack and go to the airport." Automatically he could tell that he'd said something wrong and he cursed his mouth.

Buffy's smile left her face. "No I have to take a shower. I'm not used to sleeping in this late." She pushed his arm away and stood up from the bed, wrapping her robe around her as she went across the hall and into the bathroom.

Angry at himself for making such a stupid mistake he pummeled the pillows. He was wondering what it would take to bring her smile back. His first idea was to make her breakfast, but he didn't think that would do it. He decided to just apologize honestly so once he heard the shower switch on he stood from the bed and walked to the bathroom with his the sheet wrapped around him. He let the sheep drop off and climbed into the shower behind her. Gently he soaped her body and held her close to him. "Buffy, I'm sorry. Perhaps we shouldn't have done that last night."

She turned to face him, water streaming down her face, making it impossible for him to tell whether or not she was crying. "I knew you were leaving, I still wanted to." She took the soap from him, rubbing it across chest and down his back.

He brushed her hair back from her face and kissed her, "My darling girl. My sweet, darling girl." Her arms came around him and he pushed her back through the water against the wall. He was mildly surprised to find himself getting aroused again after having made love three times previously. Perhaps her youth had rubbed off on him. He pushed into her, bracing her against the wall while she wrapped a leg around him for support. As the water cascaded over them Buffy cried out as he drove into her. He was able to last longer due to their previous encounters and by the time his desire spilled into her the hot water had run out.

They toweled off silently then went back to their room to dress. Buffy held his shirt to her face and inhaled the uniquely Giles scent. She was going to miss him more than she thought she would be able to bear. She put it on feeling it's softness surround and comfort her. Once he was gone this would be all she had left of him. She followed the sweater with the softest, most comfortable pair of jeans she owned.

"I'm all packed, do you..." he stopped when he saw her sitting next to the window staring out into the yard. "I was looking for that sweater."

"Do you mind?"

"No. In fact I would take one of yours if it would fit me." They both smiled at his weak attempt at humor.

"Xander should be here soon."

"Yes, no doubt he won't be late for a free lunch." He sat behind her and wrapped his arms around her and she leaned against him enjoying their last few moments together. " When are you returning to Chicago?"

"Tomorrow I think." She hadn't actually looked into to changing her ticket yet.

"Will you let me know when you get there?" She nodded. "Are you coming to the airport?"

"I don't think I can." She sniffed, trying no to let the tears that swam in her eyes fall.

"It's okay Buffy, you don't have to, I understand," his voice was thick with unshed tears.

"I'm sorry, but I don't want you to go." The tears began to fall. "It took me so long to find you. I don't want to let you go."

He rocked her gently, holding onto her firmly. "If you really want me to stay just say it and I will."

She shook her head, "I won't be selfish again Giles."

"Come with me." He hadn't even meant to say it at first, but as soon as he did he knew it was what he wanted. He also knew what her answer would be.

"I can't, not yet; I have things waiting for me back in Chicago." A fresh set of sobs escaped her.

"Sshhh, don't worry Buffy. Whenever you're ready I'll be there." He kissed the side of her head, and they sat there until Xander knocked on the door. "I was hoping for a few more minutes," reluctantly he stood and went to the door.

"Hey G-Man ready?" Xander came in, Willow following shortly behind him.

"Umm, yes, just a moment." He came back to Buffy and pulled her into a hug. "I'll let you know when I get there."

"I'll miss you. I love you," she whispered into his shirt.

He kissed her cheeks, mindful of the fact that Xander and Willow were watching them, "tell me when you're ready and I will come for you."

"Buffy aren't you going to come with us?"

"No, I have to pack for my flight. We've said our goodbyes already." She tried to smile and he loved her even more for her effort.

"Come on you two, if we don't go soon we won't have time for me to pay for your lunch before my flight." He shouldered his carryon while Xander took his suitcase.

Willow hung back for just a moment. "Are you sure you won't come with us Buffy?"

"I think I'll just hang back Will."

"But I thought you and he, well that you two were..."

"He asked me to go with him Will. But I can't, not yet."

"Oh, okay, well, I'll see you later then."

Buffy waited until she heard Xander's car pull away before going up stairs. She sat on the bed and clutched her pillow to her chest. It still smelled of him and his aftershave and she buried her face in it. Before she could stop herself she was laying on the bed sobbing.


	15. Chapter 15

The ringing of the phone pulled her from her bed. She looked at the number on the caller ID, it was Giles. At first she wanted to pick it up, but she knew she wasn't going to hear what she wanted to so she let it go to voicemail. She had to get out of there. Quickly she began stuffing her clothes back into bag, not bothering to fold them. Her phone beeped, there was a new voicemail. She hit the play button and sat on the bed, holding her pillow to her and cradling the phone with her shoulder.

"Buffy? I'm at the airport, my flight leaves in an hour. I'm sorry I have to go and I wish I could take you with me. My flight should arrive at Heathrow in nine hours or so, I'll call you then. I love you."

She smiled even as she wiped the tears away. She would save that voicemail until she could be with him again. Trying to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything she called a cab to take her to the airport. If Willow and Xander had just left Giles at the airport she knew they'd be coming back to house to cheer her up. She waited on the porch for her taxi, writing a quick note to Willow promising she'd visit much sooner this time. With a heavy heart she slipped it under the door and ran to the cab.

Giles had tried to call Buffy once he landed in London and was disappointed to get her voicemail again. He left another message telling that he loved her and that he missed her. His house had normally been a source of comfort to him where everything was arranged just to his liking, not a thing out of place; but now it seemed cold and empty. All he could think about was Buffy and that night when he went to bed he couldn't sleep, he was so used to having her in his arms.

Buffy had managed to find an empty seat on the next flight to Chicago and was spared too long of a wait at the airport. She tried to sleep on the plane, but she had never been very good at that. At her apartment, which now seemed hopelessly bare she crawled into her bed immediately. She had work the next day and needed to sleep but sleep would not come. Finally she wnet to her suitcase and pulled out Giles' sweater. After putting it around a pillow she buried her face in it and let his scent sooth her into sleep.

Giles had found out from Willow that Buffy had returned home. He tried her number there and was relieved when she answered. Their conversation was stilted and ended too soon. How was he supposed to convey over the phone his desire to hold her in his arms? How was she supposed to tell him that the only way she could sleep at night was to clutch his sweater tight to her, breathing in his scent which was gradually disappearing?

Worried that by leaving he had ruined everything Giles poured all of his emotions into a letter and sent it to her. He wanted her to know how much he loved her. How he had always loved her. He closed it by asking her to call him, just so he could hear her voice. A week later there was a message on his answering machine; it was Buffy. "I got your letter. Thank you." Even in the message he could tell she was smiling, even though her voice was tinged with sadness. He was surprised a week later when a thick letter arrived for him from Chicago.

Buffy's letter arrived soon after, not as long or as verbose as his but just as heartfelt. They continued for a month, writing letters, pouring their souls out to each other with each drop of ink. She told him when she began to feel sick and he expressed concern, but once her sickness lasted more than a week and she began to suspect the cause she ceased writing to him about it. Giles noticed that her letters changed and wondered what was wrong, but she refused to answer him. He was worried but trusted her to let him know in her own time.

Buffy just made it to the toilet in time. She wretched again but there was nothing left. She couldn't believe she was sick after only being back for a month. She washed her face off and finished getting ready for work. No doubt her Slayer healing would get her over whatever stomach bug she had. She was sick several more times that day but hoped she'd be better in the morning. She wasn't. The day after she still wasn't so she finally broke down and made an appointment to see a doctor.


	16. Chapter 16

"Congratulations Miss Summers, you're pregnant!" Buffy couldn't say anything she was too shocked. "I see this wasn't planned. Well you do have options," the doctor began gathering up some pamphlets. "There's no pressure, I'd say you're only five or six weeks along, plenty of time to make a decision."

"I'm keeping it." She hadn't realized that was what she was going to say. The whole time she listened to the doctor she had been wondering what she was going to do, she couldn't possibly do it on her own, but when the doctor mentioned her "options" her answer had been instinctual.

By the time she had gotten home Buffy had her next move planned out. She would quit her job and move back to Sunnydale, at least temporarily. The only thing she didn't know was what and how she was going to tell Giles. Wasn't it just a month ago that she had given up on kids and a marriage?

Giles was getting worried about Buffy, her letters were shorter and more general. In one letter she had mentioned being sick for nearly a week, but in the other she had responded to his gentle inquiries with a simple "I'm doing well". He had even tried asking Willow and Dawn but they were just as clueless if not more so. When he tried to call she was always busy, or always leaving to patrol, he began to wonder if she was beginning to pull away.

Buffy arrived at the house in Sunnydale feeling like the walking dead and not looking much better. Everyone was happy to see her as well as surprised, and they had enough sense not to bother her with silly questions until she had gotten some sleep. She collapsed in bed and buried her head in her pillow. Dawn had tidied the room but had not given it a thorough cleaning, the bed still smelled like Giles.

Buffy didn't come down until the next morning. Everyone was in the kitchen. "What's everyone doing here?"

"Sunday breakfast at Dawn and Andrew's. It's a tradition." Willow smiled at her over the newspaper.

"Oh," Buffy eased herself into a chair fighting the rising tide of nausea.

"Looks like the Buffster could use some coffee," Xander put a fresh cup of coffee under her nose. The strong and bitter scent had Buffy lurching from her chair and vomitting into the trashcan. Xander sniffed the cup, "My coffee's not that bad."

Willow came over to rub her back, "Are you okay Buffy?"

"She just needs to eat something. Here Buffy, have some eggs, scrambled just the way you like them" Buffy took one look at the eggs in front of her on the counter and returned her head to the trash can.

Xander laughed, "Geeze Buffy, what are you, pregnant?" His laughter died when she looked up and he saw the truth in her eyes. "Geeze Buffy, I'm sorry."

"You're pregnant?!" Dawn shrieked and dropped the frying pan.

"Oh my god Buffy, since when? Did you and Giles..." Willow was pretty certain they had. Buffy groaned.

"Wait are you trying to say that Buffy and Giles..." Dawn couldn't let herself say it out loud.

"Not to sound all women are weak, but shouldn't you be lying down or something?"

Normally she would've protested but Buffy still didn't feel very well. She let him lead her to the sofa, while everyone followed, their breakfasts forgotten. Xander plumped the pillows and stood back. "Thanks Xander. Definitely not a fan of the vomit. How 'bout some toast?"

"I'll go, you guys can talk," Andrew scurried off to make some toast. Despite officially being a part of the family he still wasn't part of the original gang.

"Buffy, it is Giles' isn't it?" Buffy nodded at the red headed witch.

"How come he's not here then?" Xander stood up, "what kind of man doesn't support the mother of his child?"

"Xander," Buffy reached out and clasped his hand, "you know Giles wouldnever do something like that."

"Then where is he? He does know doesn't he?" Buffy looked away. "You didn't tell him." It was more of a statement than a question.

She shook her head, "I promise I will, but I've barely wrapped my head around it."

As if on cue the phone rang, and nobody moved. Dawn, whose house it was, just stared at her sister a look of total disbelief on her face. Finally Willow got up to get it. "Hello?"

"Willow?"

"Hi Giles! We were just talking about you."

"Who's we? Is Buffy there? What's wrong? Why was her phone in Chicago disconnected?" His questions tumbled over themselves. He had nearly had a heart attack when he had called Buffy's number earlier only to learn it had been disconnected.

"Wrong? Nothing's wrong. Why would something be wrong?"

"Willow," he could always tell when she was trying to hide something from him.

"Buffy's here, she's fine, no reason she wouldn't be. She's just..."

"Willow Rosenberg don't you dare tell him a thing!" Buffy was sitting up now.

"Um, sorry Giles we're just in the middle of something. We'll talk to you later." She hung up the phone before he could say anything else.

Giles slammed the receiver down. His first instinct was to call them back until someone told him what the bloody hell was going on. Instead he poured himself a glass of scotch. He had jsut received her last letter and to say it disturbed him was an understatement. She hadn't said anything about moving and while there was clearly something she wasn't telling him she was incredibly vague about everything else. Cursing he poured another glass of scotch and went to bed.

"Buffy you have to tell him."

"I know Will, but I can't do it over the phone."

"So you'll wait until he visits then spring it on him?"

"That's not fair Xander!"

"Buffy, tell him. Soon. Or I will."

"I will, soon."

"Good, now if you don't mind, my breakfast has gotten cold." He left the room and went back to his plate.

"I'm gonna join him. I'm happy for you Buffy, I think you'll be a great mom."

"Thanks Will."

Once she was alone with her sister Dawn finally spoke. "You and...and Giles?" Buffy nodded. "After the wedding?" She nodded again. "How long?"

"How long what?"

"How long have you been with him?"

"For a week, after the wedding. And since he left."

"Were you going to tell me?"

"Of course, once we figured everything out."

"Do you love him?" Buffy nodded. "And he loves you?" She nodded again.

"Then why didn't he stay?"

"We both had lives to get back to Dawn. Giles has given up so much for me. He has a life in England and I wasn't about to make him give it up."

"So what about you? Why didn't you go with him?"

"I couldn't just give up my life after one week. There was so much to work out."

"I'm sorry Buffy, I had no idea." Dawn went to her sister and hugged her. They stayed like that until Dawn's stomach grumbled. "Um Buffy? I'm really hungry."

"Oh, sorry," Buffy wiped her eyes. "I think I'll stay here with my toast." She sat on the sofa and let her mind wander. She wondered how Giles would react. No doubt he would be mad that she had kept this from him but then what? She hoped he would be happy but they had never spoken about children, there hadn't been a need to. She just hoped he could get over being mad at her.


	17. Chapter 17

A week later Xander took her to catch the red-eye flight to Heathrow. It went without a hitch and she arrived in London nervous, tired and hungry but determined. She figured he was probably still at work. She thought about waiting but she knew that if she waited she wouldn't be able to tell him, so she quickly hailed a taxi and gave the driver Giles' address.

When it pulled to a stop she recognized his house immediately from his description. It looked like a house from a fairytale and she could see why he picked it. She approached it slowly. All the lights were off and she wondered where he was. The front door was locked and so was the back but she could see an open window on the second floor. "Good thing I'm super slayer," she jumped and flipped her way onto the porch roof and climbed into the window. 

She walked quietly through the house. It was quintessentially Giles. Green things grew in all the windows, bookshelves lined the walls, overflowing with books. The living room was comfortable. She looked at the pictures on the mantle. Her and Dawn, Willow and Xander, all of them together, and in the back pictures of Willow and Tara, Anya and Xander and their first group of potentials, most of whom were now dead. So much death had followed them and now there was life. She held her stomach. It was dark outside now and she wondered where Giles was. She sat down on the leather sofa and wrapped the wool blanket around her. She would wait for him there. Without meaning to she fell asleep wrapped in his scent.

Giles stumbled up the lane to his house cursing at the cobbie who, he was certain, had taken advantage of Giles' inebriated state to help himself to a rather large tip. He fumbled with the key and finally opened the door. He was surprised to see a light on and he entered the living room cautiously. He pulled back when he saw Buffy curled up on his sofa. At first he wanted to kiss her but then he remembered he was mad at her. He wanted to wake up, to ask her what she was doing there but instead he put another blanket over her, switched off the light and went to his own room and drunkenly passed out.

Buffy woke up the next morning when the rising sun streamed into the room. She hadn't gotten such a good night's sleep in a month. Suddenly she sat up, remembering where she was. She could hear Giles in the kitchen. Slowly she got up and made her way toward him. "Good morning Giles." He glanced her way but didn't say anything. "I guess you're wondering why I'm here."

"Buffy, I've had a long night, and now I have a terrible hangover that won't quit. If you've got something to say, just say it."

"Well I came here to see you." He raised an eyebrow at her. "I have something really important to tell you. It wasn't something I could you in a letter, or over the phone. I just...well I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

Giles could feel himself weakening. He could hear the tremble in her voice and knew she was on the verge of crying. "Come and sit down and have some breakfast." Buffy complied but blanched when he put a plate of eggs and sausage in front of her. She tried to quell her nausea but as soon as he took a bite from his place she bolted from the table barely making it to the bathroom in time.

That was the last straw. Giles stormed after her and banged on the door. "Buffy you tell me what's going on right now or so help me I will break this door down!" He could hear her crying now. "Blast!" He went to the phone and dialed Dawn's number. Xander answered the phone.

"You tell me what's going on with Buffy right now!"

"Is Buffy there? She didn't call last night."

"Yes she's in the bathroom. What's wrong, why is she still sick? Her Slayer healing should've taken care of this by now."

"Ya know G-Man, for someone whose primary job title was Watcher, you aren't being very observant."

"Xander answer my question." He was nearly hysterical.

"I'm afraid I can't do that G-Man. Has she eaten yet?"

"I just tried to feed her breakfast."

"Eggs?"

"How did you know?" He could hear Xander trying to suppress his laughter. "And what's so funny about that?" His frustration and anger were reaching the boiling point. 

"You're supposed to be the smart one." He had given up and was openly laughing at the Watcher now. "I'm sorry Giles. I want to tell you, really I do, but I promised her I wouldn't. Just listen to her. She's really scared right now."

"What's she scared of? Has she had another vision?"

"Just go talk to her. I gotta go. I'll talk to you later."

Giles hung up the phone, his anger being replaced by worry and confusion. He returned to the bathroom. "Buffy can I come in?"

"No."

"Will you tell me what's wrong?"

"I can't," she sobbed.

"Then why are you here?"

"I missed you."

"Is that all? You could've phoned, I would've come to you."

"I didn't want you to." She let out another sob.

"I see and why's that?" He prepared to have his heart broken.

"I have something to tell you that you won't like. I don't want you to be angry with me. You'll hate me after I tell you."

"Buffy nothing you say could make me love you any less."

"You'll still love me?"

"Of course. So what did you want to tell me? Why have you come?"

She was silent for a moment then took a deep breath. "Because I thought our child should be born in England," she sobbed out.


	18. Chapter 18

The silence was deafening and long. Buffy could feel her world crumbling under her. Giles was absolutely certain that he had forgotten every word in every language he had ever known. "Buffy?" His voice came out as a croaky whisper. He tried again. "Buffy? I'm coming in." He opened the door and came in.

Buffy was sitting in the corner, her arms wrapped around her legs, her head resting it on her knees. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said it over and over again, as she rocked back and forth.

He stroked her head until she looked up. "Love, my darling girl. You've nothing to be sorry about." They sat quietly for a moment. "Did you really say 'our' child?" Buffy nodded again, annoyed that she couldn't remember how to speak. "You're p-p-p-pregnant?" Again with the nodding. "And you thought I'd be angry with you about that?"

"We never talked about it. There was no time, only a week."

"You silly girl." He kissed her nose, "I love you," he kissed each cheek, "so much," he captured her mouth with his own. Pulling back he looked at her and smiled, trying to erase the look of nervousness on her face. "We're gonna have a baby."

She smiled, in happiness and relief, and wrapped her arms around him, knocking him back on to the floor. She kissed him all over his face, " thank you, thank you, thank you." Their kisses deepened and soon he began to respond to her body pressing on top of him. He slid his hand under her shirt. "Giles!"

"What? It's been quite a while, and may I remind you that you are on top of me?"

She giggled, "but the bathroom?"

"Good point," he stood up and pulled her up with him. He led her from the bathroom and made her shriek when he swept her up in his arms. "let me show you my room. And I assure you, the bed is quite big enough for the two of us."

Giles treated her with a wonder and reverence that she had never experienced. She gave herself to him with such joy because she finally knew it was forever. Their lovemaking lasted into the afternoon when they finally left eh bedroom. Buffy was famished. He made her sit in the living room while he brought her tea and something to eat, no eggs.

"So what do we do now?" He was sitting behind her, his hand resting on her belly possessively.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we love each other," she nodded, "you're bearing my child. Should I be looking for some fantastically priced diamond ring and searching for your father to ask his permission?"

"You want to marry me?" Her voice was filled with awe.

"Well, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. A wedding isn't a necessity for that but if that's something you want to do..." he let his sentence trail off. "I always thought girls dreamed about their wedding day."

"Did I ever tell you I love you?" She snuggled into his arms. "You don't have to ask anyone's permission, especially my father, even if you could find him. I don't need to get married, being with you is enough."

They sat for a while longer, staring at the fire. "How long do you have?"

"Forever."

He kissed her hands, "Good, but I meant when do you fly home?"

"I'm not."

"But your job?"

"I quit. As soon as I found out. I've already shipped my things back to Sunnydale."

"Do you want to move back to Sunnydale?"

"No, I want to stay with you, but I couldn't exactly ship all my stuff here. It would be a bit presumptuous of me to ship my stuff here before I had talked to you. Besides, I want my home to be as far away from the Hellmouth as possible. There are too many unhappy memories, I think we need a fresh start."

"Presumptuous?" He smirked at her and her use the word.

"Shut up," she laughed and slapped him playfully.

"Ow, Slayer strength remember?"

"Oh, sorry," she giggled again.

"But wouldn't you like to be near your sister and the others?"

"I'll miss them, but I think that visiting is better. What would Xander think if he could see us now?"

"Oh Christ Xander!" Giles stood up and reached for the phone. "I talked to him this morning he must be wondering what happened." He dialed the number but when Dawn picked up the phone he handed it to Buffy. They exchanged basic pleasantries before getting down to the juicy parts.

"I'm okay Dawn, honestly," she listened for a moment, "yes I told him. No Xander doesn't need to worry." She stuck her tongue out at Giles. "Staying here, but you all should come out for Christmas." She could hear Giles start to protest and she held her hand up. "Yes we're both happy." Another part of the conversation went on, "no Dawn, I'll talk to you later. I love you too. Yes give my love to Andrew too. Bye." She hung up the phone and smiled at Giles, her eyes sparkling.

"Why would Xander have to worry?"

"When I went to Dawn's and you weren't with me he thought that meant you didn't want anything to do wit hme."

"That's absurd, he should know me better than that."

"And he does although if you had sent me packing I have no doubt he'd be here the next day to defend my honor."

"He's a good man, but I'm never letting you leave my side ever again." He wrapped his arms around her. "And am I to understand that you've just invited everyone to our house for Christmas?"

"Well, I just thought...wait did you just say 'our' house?"

"Well, yes, unless you want to live somewhere else..." Whatever else he was going to say was smothered as Buffy threw her arms around him and kissed him furiously.

"Rupert Giles, I love you."

"And I love you Buffy."


	19. Chapter 19

The months passed and soon Christmas approached. They had prepared the house, Buffy had insisted on decorating so it seemed as if a holly bush had taken root in the house. He could've stopped her but he couldn't live without making her happy. A few days before Christmas the gang arrived; Xander and Kristin, Willow and Kennedy, Dawn and Andrew and Faith and Robin.

Everyone admired the house, patted Buffy's swollen belly and shook Giles' hand. They all agreed that it was nice to be together without having to plan for the apocalypse. Buffy spent most of the time attached to Giles, smiling radiantly on the world, while he was often found with his arm around her or whispering in her ear. Everyone agreed that they had never seen either so affectionate and that this relationship must be good for both of them.

They all laughed as Giles tried on the ridiculous hat Xander had gotten him. "Thank you Xander, you certainly have...curious taste."

"Ah come on G-Man don't you think I have better taste than that?" He pulled a large box from behind the sofa. "Had to get this shipped here before we came. I hope you like it. Although I suppose technically it's for both you and the Buffster."

Buffy helped Giles remove the paper then Giles lifted the bubble-wrapped object from the box. He pulled the wrap away and Buffy gasped as a beautiful hand-carved cradle was revealed, "oh Xander it's beautiful."

Giles, could feel himself well up with emotion, unsure of what to say he began polishing his glasses, "Xander...this is...I mean...it's so...thank you," he held his hand out and Xander grasped it firmly.

"Well you know I have the skill, I've got to put it to some use."

"I think we've had enough emotion for the moment. Here Buffy, this is for you and the mini-slayer."

Buffy opened it and pulled a small wooden sword from the wrap. "Thanks Faith."

"Um I have a gift for Kristin," Xander cleared his throat.

"So? That hardly requires an announcement Xander."

He shot Faith a murderous look, "well, this is something special." He turned to his girlfriend. Everyone stared at each other perplexed, only Willow seemed to have an inkling of what was about to happen. "Kristin, we've been together for a while now and I just wanted to let you know how perfect you are. It's not just because you're not a demon. You've made me happier than I ever though I deserved. So I was hoping you'd make this one-eyed fool the happiest man in the world by agreeing to spend the rest of your life with me." He held out an intricately carved box with a ring in it.

"Oh Xander of course I'll marry you!"

Everyone cheered and hugs and handshakes were given round. When things began to settle down Giles cleared his throat. "I'm sorry Xander I don't mean to detract from your moment, but I think I could give you a run for the money on who's happier and I have something special to give to Buffy."

"Giles, you didn't have to get me anything."

"Well, I suppose I could take it back."

She reached for the box, "no, no I like presents, but I have something for you too," she handed him a box.

"Well look, I know you said we didn't need to get married but I wanted you to have this." Buffy opened it and there was no gasp of scream as he had expected, instead she stared silently at it. "Well, everyone take notice. I have succeeded where no one excepting the Gentlemen have managed. I have made the Slayer speechless." Everyone laughed but still Buffy was silent. Giles stopped laughing and came to her side, "Buffy? It was my grandmother's ring, I think she would've wanted you to have it." Still Buffy was silent. "Buffy you're starting to scare me. Say something sweet."

"It really is forever isn't it?"

"Ah my lovely, wonderful girl, forever and a day."

"Thank you, it's beautiful," she slipped the ring on, "you've given me everything I could've ever asked for." She wiped the tears from her eyes and hugged him. "I'm afraid my gift isn't quite as impressive." She watched the light sparkle on the ring while he opened her gift.

"I hope it's not more jewelry, it's been quite a night for that." He chuckled as he parted the tissue paper and pulled out the small onesie. "I'm afraid this really isn't my size."

All the girls "ooh and aahed," even Faith. "Maybe you should read the front."

Giles turned it around. "Daddy's little boy. Little boy. We're having a boy? I'm having a son?" It was his turn to tear up as Buffy wrapped her arms around him.

They stayed like that, whispering in each other's ears until someone politely coughed. "Well, I suppose it's probably time to eat. Everybody come into the dining room." Buffy led them to the dining room and Giles carried the turkey out. The food was served and Buffy raised her glass. "To family."

"To family!"

"Well I think we should this every year."

"Xander close your mouth while you're eating," Buffy admonished. "I'm not sure Dawn and I will able to make it next year." Everyone looked at Andrew, he had been remarkably quiet all day.

"Of course you can come, we can't have Christmas without my sister."

"Yes well it might be hard to travel with the new baby." Dawn blushed, "see I'm pregnant."

"When did this happen?"

"We found out just before we came." Andrew was positively beaming.

"Well, this certainly has been the day for news. Anything else? Faith? Robin, you're not pregnant are you? How about you Willow?" Everyone laughed.

"Seriously you all have to come next year. I've spent so much time apart from my family. I don't want to lose you again."

"Barring the apocalypse we'll be here Buff." Xander put his arm around Kristin.

"Don't worry, Robin and I will be there too."

Dinner was wonderful and afterward they stood outside to watch the snow fall. Everyone went out and played, throwing snowballs and making snow angels. Only when they were too wet and cold to continue did they go inside.

--

After everyone had gone to bed Buffy was still awake. She rested her head on Giles' chest while he stroked her bell, feeling the baby kick. "What are you thinking about?"

"Just how much has changed and how fast. If you had told me a year ago that I'd be lying next to the woman I love, feeling my unborn son kick in her belly, I would've said they were several pasties short of a picnic. But now I have everything I could've ever wanted. What about you?"

"Names for the baby. Do you have any ideas?"

"As long as he's not named after some foppish American actor I'm content to let you take care of it."

She thought about it for a minute. "I was thinking of William."

"William. Like..."

"After Spike." He didn't say anything and she worried about what he would say. _Maybe he just needs some convincing._ "He was such a hero Giles. I wouldn't be here without him, none of us would. He saved the world." Still he was silent. "I was thinking maybe William Xander Giles."

"I thought Xander's real name was Alexander?"

"It is, but I like Xander better."

"William Xander Giles?"

"Yep and I'll make you a deal. I'll name this son and you can name our next son."

He couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. "Our next son? How many children do you think we'll have?"

"A son, a daughter and another son."

"You sound very certain of that."

"Oh I am. You know what else I'm certain of?"

"Hmmmm?"

"We will always be happy."

"I knew that already."

"Well then," she lifted her head up to kiss him on the lips. "Goodnight Giles, I love you."

"Good night Love."


	20. Author's Note

Howdy fans,

Some blatant self-promotion here. I've posted a new story over in the Buffy section. I know Buffy/Giles may not be everyone's cup of tea, but if you like Snape/Hermione it might interest you. So pop on over and check it out. Only two really long chapters long and the first one's up. First Comes Baby?!

Thanks,

uwmuggle


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